today was his bday... i felt empty, like something was missing. even tho i know it wouldnt be a good thing in the long run today i wished he was here. i wished i could hold him, cook him dinner and spoil him for his bday... im over it niw but it frustrates me ti have these thought... to not be able to control my emotions sometimes. i guess i just miss the componany and that feeling of pleasing the one you love..
1 Heart
Dolce, that was the dream as it seemed to you, that you were pleasing someone you love. And that's a wonderful, honorable dream for sure. But he was never that person...your love didn't please him, your obedience and compliance did. He was never grateful like he pretended to be--it was all a ruse to manipulate you. Keep having that dream, but direct it hopefully toward the future with someone who will appreciate you. And in the meanwhile, spoil yourself, make yourself your favorite dinner. You deserve those kindnesses!
1 Heart
I am missing being able to cook for my ex-N. He always raved about how he loved my cooking; I wonder now if that was just part of his act. I would rather go hungry than share another meal with that man.