Well tomorrow is a ig day for me. I am already having anticopatory anxiety over this.
All my theripies i had kept things quite. Not its time to release the deamons!
I handed my counsellor a page with all my problems on it. I minimised the extent of the problems, its just something i do in real life. Coz i dont like pity and i feel that people if i talked openly about some topics would think im looking for pity. Anyways, she handed the page back to me and i was left thinking great, i pour some of my heart out and she doesnt even give a dam. Well my last session we basically agreed that we have to start discussing the things on the page.
Some of the things on the page dont even match up to what its like in real life for me. In real life i may have no life if i dont start opening up. I dont want to open up but i do want a life. To have a life i have to open up...so tomorrow im scared.
I hope i dont go to my session and let this opportunity pass. Its hard for my to physically speak the words of what goes on, thats why i have never talked about it before and this time decided to put it on a page hoping that she will notice the difficulty i have.
Well im not sure what will actully come of tomorrow but all i know is the time has come and its tomorrow EEK. Im not sure how i feel about this. Im scared, worried and anxious but i know its the right thing to do for my sake and my life.
What if i go and cant speak? What if i go and tell her its not that bad? What if i go and break-down? What if i go and then leave and feel worse? What if, what if and more what ifs...
Hello friend! So how did your therapy session go? I noticed at the end there all those what-ifs! Well, don't let fear control your life and don't worry about the what ifs. Life if full of ups and downs, good times and bad, but nothing in your life is too hard to handle. I know it can be very difficult to open up and talk about things that have affected you in negative manners, but as I talk about with my therapist all the time you can't go in there being worried to open up and be in fear of judgment. They are there to help you overcome obstacles and provide support and insight into helping your move past issues, deal with everyday life and move into a more happy and confident you! Therapy is very difficult, but if you didn't open up what would you truly accomplish out of going to your sessions?
And my therapist also told me that therapy is like your old self dying to just be reborn into a better, happier, healthier you! It does get easier after opening up that 1st initial time. Keep us posted on how you are doing and how that session went! =)
Aww god its tomorrow. This has just been running thru my head all day as its going to be really really difficult. I feel underspressure. Im up early for this in the morning and its late here so i should really be asleep. I hope i can sleep now, ill just have to try anyways but i am kinda tired coz i didnt get much sleep last night. Im actully up in 6 hours, so i hope i can catch most of that.
Im just going to take it as it comes and try my best, thats all i can do. I just hope i dont do what ive dont in the past. Im gona try say what i have to. When im thinking of this now im feeling a bunch of anxiety. I can only take it as it comes, thats all. ill only see what comes of it tomorrow and i will try.
Well i went, i didnt achieve much. Didnt say what needed to be said. The reasons why is that i cant say it. If she asks me i will be able to maybe open up a bit, but she didnt ask. I went thru someother concerns i have but the main thing i wanted to discuss, i didnt.
Well ill just have to keep building myself up for it and when the times right i can hopefully get this out in the open.
I'm sorry you are having so much anxiety about what you want to talk to your therapist about. A good natural technique to relieve your anxiety is breathing slowly and deeply to increase the oxygen in your body and help you relax.
If you don't mind me asking, would you talk to us on here about what you are scared of talking about in therapy? Would it be easier to discuss it on here in an online environment versus face to face with someone? It may be a start for you to decrease your anxiety and get out what you need to get out. Healing will come if you open up. I will say talking about it is very hard and I'm sure there will be some anxiety, tears, and stress, BUT that is a short term effect in comparison to you overcoming the issues and moving on with your life! =) Just know you have people here for you and we will listen to whatever you may like to say.
I kinda already made one thing clear in a different post i started and i dont want to strat that discussion again for several different reasons. I even want to delete that post, do you know can you do that, delete started posts?
It is much easier to discuss online i have made a start when i first came here but its kinda not gona do me any good. I need real help, if that makes sence. I need someone to tell me what to do.
Then the other things i want to discuss, i wouldnt even know where to begin with it.
Thanks i know people are here if needed and i can take some comfort knowing that.
I know i just have to take the plunge and do it. And i will someday...
Well I know talking about difficult topics if very hard, but you will be able to in your own time. =)
I haven't read past posts of yours and I won't press you saying any specifics on here, I just figured I would ask in case you wanted to speak about it on here. I don't know if you have been able to build any rapport with anyone on here, but maybe even sending them a private message? Or what about email with your therapist? Can you email them about certain topics if that's easier and a possible way to open up?
I would like to let you know that i have been taking to someone about one of the things. We will be going through other stuff also, i think. But i have been messaging someone here also about another thing. So things are getting moving. It will help to open up online, but then there is the problem of literally speaking to my therapist. But im happy with the step taken anyway. I have a lot to think about now.
E-mail with the therapist i dont think is an option, never asked though, but its so much easier online coz i dont have to look at people and i dont know who people are. I am being refered to more therapy from my psychairtrist also with what im in now. I am going to do the same as what i did with the psychairtrist and put it all on paper. I find thats proberly best bcoz im not good with spoken words.
I have decided that if my counsellor doesnt ask me then im just going to hold out for the other therapy and give her a page of whats going on for me. I am ready, i think, its just a bit fustrating haven put stuff on a page and to never have worked thru it, it kinda doesnt add up.
But i find that i am extremely paronoid with stuff on here and want to delete it but dont know if it can be done. Do u?
Hi there. Thank you for sharing! I think it is a great step talking to someone privately online to help you relieve the anxiety of speaking to your therapist face to face. I don't know if you can delete post on here, but you shouldn't feel paranoid about posting here. You are not alone in your struggles I can guarantee that a lot of people can relate so you shouldn't feel any bad feelings about talking about it =).