Tonight is a struggle

Ahhhh night four. gotta say........ this sux.

But being able to reach out to you all helps me so much. I am a private person but being able to write just helps. I do like coffee though and my ex-wife is Jamaican, so I am drowning in blue mountain coffee. I guess if I am going to drown, that's the way to do it.

For weeks now, when I fall asleep, I have been having these nightmares. I am ready to stand and face real life again. I used to put myself in ridiculous situations to see how I would react but I'm done with now. I'm ready to finally grow in a way I'm proud of.

thank you for supporting me

O Me! O Life!
by Walt Whitman

O Me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;
Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;
Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;
Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined;
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.

That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

stay strong.

Thank you. I keep quoting Whitman because he is amazing and was thought to be bipolar like me.

Love the Walt Whitman...
Hope you are doing well,

reading this great stuff helps me a lot too, I always loved Walt Whitman too. thanks for sharing it..