Top 10 mistakes women make in relationships

I found this article to be a good reminder of what not to do in the early stages of dating and in a relationship, as sometimes I've definitely found myself guilty of a few of the below. I am constantly trying to learn, grow and better myself in terms of dating and relationships. Here is the article in its entirety;

"If you want to learn something about the complexity of women, watch how they behave in a romantic relationship. Women go from shifting into a liaison to landing completely on their faces. Below are 10 common errors ladies make in their dating relationships (with both men and women.) Some of these mistakes are more severe than others, but they are so common amongst women that we need to look at what the problems are and why they are problems in the first place.

1. Giving up your life.

This goes for all women in every relationship. Young, heterosexual women in particular really get swept away with their men. This happens all the time. Maybe this transgression can be excused during the very beginning of a relationship as it is a period of adjustment, but that is only a maybe. This same excuse can be made for the period of romance and intimacy: You miss your sweetie, you can’t get him out of your head. At this moment, women neglect their friends. Be the woman who grabbed his attention in the first place: A woman with her own life.

Both you and he will suffocate with too much attention given to one another and you will get bored. A diet of dessert sounds good, but there is a reason no one eats only that.

2. Stereotyping and being inconsiderate.

“He’s a guy, he can take it.” Well you are a girl and you can handle gossip and cat fights right? Who says that you want to though? Modern men are much freer now to express themselves than ever before.

Support this by letting them talk about themselves, their days; let them be heard. Men also need to tap into their boyish side with a few video games things of that nature. Support your significant other as an individual.

Boys on one side, girls on the other type of thinking serves to separate, not unite a couple. Women can be just as inconsiderate as men, so watch out for this.

Also, expecting a man to pay for everything, when you have a job and are not a 1950’s housewife unable to work, might bother him. There needs to be balance in everything.

3. Mind games to induce jealousy.

If you need to make your partner jealous, something is wrong with the relationship. Is the other person untrustworthy or are you just insecure. That’s what jealousy is all about. Putting someone through tests only works to a certain degree.

What really causes a failed relationship is when a woman feels that manipulation is a woman’s right and that her “intuition" is telling her she has to test her partner. Intuition is a positive feeling that serves to help, not to hurt. Playing mind games is the same as using someone.

4. You must trust him or her.

No matter what you have been through, you have to learn to trust your partner. There are a lot of bad men out there and a lot of dysfunctional women that will flagellate you worse than the men.

Don’t date them! Stick with the ladies and men you can love and the ones who will love you right back. This builds trust. Still not ready? Start with someone kind and slowly work your way up to trust.

Being a victim is very damsel in distress and these damsels are stuck in towers for a reason- no prince can or wants to get to them until the end of the movie! Don’t wait: Learn some love and get some courage.

5. Guys are intensely private!

When in doubt, keep your mouth shut. Are they really spilling their secrets in the locker room? Probably only a few key phrases that make them look good. Your boyfriend, had to deal with a lot as a man, he doesn’t need to be scrutinized by his buddies. This goes with lesbians as well.

Your girlfriend doesn’t need, for example, guys saying, “I heard your girlfriend saying you’re good in bed. Man, two women!” Love is a hard thing not to share with the world, but the world doesn’t always want to share love with you so be attentive to your words. They can bite!

6. Ex-girlfriend questions.

Curiosity killed the cat and that is all you need to remember. Simple curiosity even with good self-esteem just might take you down a long, winding road of insecurities and jealousies.

If you ask your significant other about past girlfriends, you’ll cause unease. Why go there? Do you really need to know certain things? Ask yourself that question first. Health related questions that will impact you? Give them a shot.

If you have a relationship where you think there are some unclear feelings or unfinished business, give questions about that a shot. All else, leave alone. Once your guy, starts talking about the other women, you’ll really feel like you’re not his special gal. Don’t do that to yourself.

7. Manipulating and crying.

If this is cheating when he does it, why would you do it? People who care about each other do not do this. Crying to get what you want is something that children do. Not enough for you? Look at manipulation this way: Someone who uses others for self-serving purposes, good or not, is a prostitute.

Doesn’t sound so appealing does it? As a little girl, you never said, “I want to be a hooker when I grow up!” did you? Why is that? Being selfish and unhealthy are reasons to manipulate and relationships don’t need these negative attributes on top of everything else going on between couples.

8. The girlfriend or nothing.

Expecting him to fill the void of your friends will not work. This goes along with suffocating someone. All couples need some time a part and women need a social network. We need good friends that are different from the men in our lives.

Why drop a boyfriend because you are not friends with him? A boyfriend isn’t exactly a friend, but something similar- that’s okay. There are no rules to living, just to society. Matters of the heart do not belong to society but to you and your life.

9. Over analyzing and mothering

If your partner wanted a mother, he or she would spend more time at home. Mothering someone is suffocating. Showing affection is beautiful and nursing the sick is necessary, but there is a line you do not cross if you want a relationship to last. Over analyzing is just as frustrating. It is simply the mental version of mothering someone.

It is also a good sign that maybe you yourself need to spend some time in the therapy seat because forcing help on others is often an action that indicates you feel you cannot help yourself so you have to help others instead There is no rush to most relationships so slow down. Think of your partnership as a fine wine and let it sit and breathe for a while. Interestingly, there is something about a serious relationship that triggers the, “Do you think we’ll get married some day?” question in women.

Turn off the TV and spend time doing something with your brain. Get this idea out of your head! Even the most sensible women turn to this…after just a couple of months of dating!

Remember: wine, wine, wine. Let the relationship age like wine, because all women can be fine like wine and they can all age like wine. Channel your inner Sophia Loren and attract things to you in your right time.

As odd as it is to see even the most beautiful and mentally harmonious woman struggling in a relationship, the key is simply a matter of adjusting, balancing and staying mentally attuned to what you need.

Whatever the goals desired with a partner, whatever beauty found in a relationship and with whomever you want, as a woman you get to choose your behavior and how you feel. A grown woman does slap her head with little mistakes here and there, but that is okay. Stop making these top 10 mistakes with romantic relationships so you can enjoy dating."

Source: Helium, by Sarah Vigue

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