***Trigger Warning *** Beautiful artistry. A bridge that co

***Trigger Warning ***
Beautiful artistry. A bridge that connects people from various backgrounds. The ocean below full of life yet you only see the surface. Its deceptive to mistake such beauty as life. There alot of broken minds that hit the very same water that is calming to the eyes. The disconnect that can't be seen. When you cross over the railing your isolated. You lose the path forward. The railing in so many ways is the fine balance of life and the ending of life in depression. There is two choices...the sidewalk that has two endings. The fog, uncertainty, and weight of sadness that brought you here or the calm waters that speak for you when you don't have the strength to speak for yourself. You don't have to say anything once you have crossed over the railing. The isolation from society is literal. The inability to take steps back onto the world without help. When we hit the water the delusion is shattered. People come to see the brokeness that walked amongst them. I wish more people didn't wait for us to hit the water to see through the artistry. Depression is art in itself...it has so many expressions. It can be beautiful and write beautiful metaphors that capture emotions yet is dark. There is flashes of hope and light in the art of depression. You can see it if you look past the darkness, but in darkness you can't see. We can only feel for things...how is one suppose to find the light in such darkness if they can not feel it? There are stories behind that for which I write. There are feelings deeper than the depth one can feel. If you look past the artistry and it's superficial beauty there is always deception to mask the pain that speaks for the artist. I am on looking down upon the inviting waters below. I am struggling to climb back over the railing.

Wow! How beautifully written! Yes, you have captured depression in such an elegant manner. Depression presents itself differently in the multiple people who suffer from it. People who are unfamiliar with depression are not aware of its many forms, and I think that prevents them from not only recognizing the symptoms, as well as understanding how to help. Then there are people who see any mental illness as a sign of weakness. So, their lack of empathy or compassion refuses to allow them to reach out.

Please reach out if you're struggling. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need/want to talk.

The isolation of the depravity is becoming deeper. The numbness for the world is fading. Pain is breaking through the walls like water goes through a dam when it breaks. I haven’t seen the people that need to be seen. I need to find the means to see them. I don’t have the courage to tell them the truth. It’s too hard to say goodbye. I promised them that regardless of the pain I will be here. I don’t know how I can fulfill that promise as times becomes increasingly borrowed. The harder that I try to find what I’m looking for I come up empty. I don’t know that anyone can make me happy including me. I have shut myself out from the world. I’m two people…the one they like that can make someone laugh and the broken. The more I look for something I find myself further along the wrong path. I really need to see them (my family) to make amends. Nothing they can do will express the real me. I will be the happy one. I was planning a vacation to see one of them, but I don’t think I will make that long. This person doesn’t deserve this pain that will be delivered by my hands. My family and friends gave me everything they had to fix me. I promised them I would never leave by my own hands. It’s hitting home that I may not never see them in time. I can’t let go. I can’t live up to the promise that is unbreakable for them is about to be shattered. (I wrote this last night).