**trigger warning** Hi, I don't really know where to start

**trigger warning**
Hi, I don't really know where to start but I want to get better. It all started one day in June when I cut. I signed up for a summer job program and went to work that day, I was a custodian. Another kid came and betrayed me. He tried to do certain things with me, that I wasn't aboard to do. I cut once and then got support from all my friends , I never told my mom about the first time it happened. After that I stopped for about three months, and then school started. I'm a sophmore in highschool and am in two advanced cl***es. All my cl***ed got so confusing and I didn't know what to do. My advanced Biology cl*** is the hardest. I cut in October and stopped for two months. I talked to my school counselor a few times but it didn't help as much as I needed it to do. Now two weeks ago I cut again in a different spot so my mom doesn't see any new cuts. My boyfriend left me because I cut and my bestfriend left me. She was like my sister and now I don't have her anymore. Recently more and more people are dropping me like i'm used trash. My mom is a single mother working her *** off for me, I can't bare to tell her. I need someone to believe in me and support me, not because I cut but because i'm trying to get help. This all transpired from stress, depression,and especially my weight. I'm bigger and feel that's why people won't talk to me. I feel like everything good that's happens to me turns into something terrible. I wreck everything that happens to me I feel like I'm letting my mom down big time

Ok, first, what causes the depression? And second, you came to the right place. You have some really harsh people who leabe you because of something uou have trouble helping. I'll help you if you want to private message me :)

1 Heart

Hey. I'm 20 (girl) and I cut for the first time when I was a sophomore in high school, too. It went on for a long time for me, until my senior year. I cut my wrist, thigh, arms.... It started when I had a really good friend who showed me that she cut, and it helped her. So I tried it. I had stress from school and abuse from my dad. It did feel good and it gave me control where I couldn't find it anywhere else. I liked it. But it is not healthy. I now have some really deep scars and a lot of small ones that I'm afraid for people to see. and this is 3-4 years later. I had a couple friends who cut, and they would tell me I'm strong and that it's beautiful. That is so much bull sh*t. One day I decided that I wanted to love myself instead of hate myself. I threw away any blade or anyting I used to cut. Try doing things that make you feel prettier. Eat healthy foods, go for a walk or run. Do some physical activity that you like. Your self esteem will rise. Seek support from a support group or therapist. As for your friends and boyfriend, maybe they weren't good for you. Find people who will love you and support you, despite self harm and the fact that they can't understand. My mom and I have never talkedd about my cutting. I liked it that way, but maybe you could tell your mom that you've cut again, and that you really want to stop. Tell her what you are doing to get yourself out of the habit. Ask her to please help you and support you. Mothers love their daughters and want what's best for them. you can do it. If you need to talk or have any questions please don't hesitate. stay strong

1 Heart