TRIGGER WARNING: I just read a post by a poor girl who was sexually abused as a child and ended up in a relationship with an abusive man. She basically set herself up for it. No boundaries. Confusion regarding what she was allowed to say no to. The reason i bring this up is because my guy and i have talked about this sort of thing regarding his infidelity. He was sexually abused as a child and has boundary issues regarding sex. It was hard to tell him to respect himself and treat himself better. He just didn't get it. Isn't sex what men do?? However, when i talked to him about the statistics regarding how many little girls are sexually abused - 1 out of 3 or 4 depending where you live - he started to understand. I told him the type of women who would interact with him the way they did, were probably victims of abuse who were just as blurry on boundaries as he was. I explained to him how using them the way he did and by treating sex like a game, was just abusing them further. This was something that really made him change his mind about his behaviour. He has women in his family who were sexually abused and when he thought of it that way, he was really upset with himself.
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It was amazing that you were able to help him understand deeper into his actions. I think most the time, we live our lives without perspective because we are IN it, and have no real way of seeing why or how we are IN it. What does the group think?
1 Heart
Hi ariel. Its great to hear that you are making such headway. I hope you are proud of you. Hang in there girl :-)
1 Heart