I was molested by my half brother when I was two he was 9ish no one knew after he went to live with his mom in highschool I started talking to him during that time at 17 I was raped twice and at 20 I found out I was molested at 5 by someone else well a couple years ago he text my mother says he molested me and went into detail a couple weeks ago he contactes me and my younger brolike nothing is wrong now they are friends on fb ext he is a level 3 offender I was his first but not his last. Seems like everyone else has moved on and forgiving I can't and no one will listen not that it ever did anything now my anxiety is threw the roof seeing it but then like a snake I'm afraid if I don't keep an eye out.. Sorry about the long post and if this is a repeat tried posting before but it doesn't show
You sound like you're really upset. Please take a step back from what everyone else is doing. Worry about protecting yourself. If people are connecting on FB and you don't like it, unfriend them. Break all connections online that interfere in your peace of mind. Don't worry about what other people are doing. Worry about what you're doing. People can only upset you if you allow it. Keep your distance from anyone who's upsetting you. Maintain your personal boundaries. You can't tell others how to behave. If you don't like their behaviour, break contact.
@Hcece30 Hi I agree with Ariel… He can’t come back into your life unless you allow him too… Don’t give him that ‘Power’ over you. Block Him… He will get the message ‘Loud-And-Clear’ then… Don’t allow anybody to ‘Upset-You’ especially when you’ve got a choice. ‘Take-Back-The-Control’… Here if you need to talk or PM me. Sent with love, Trish
Thank you both I have blocked him and feel better I really just needed to get my feelings out I have a bad habit of holding everything in and I'm still breaking it
@RandomJelly Yes I know he was a child but he wasn’t when I was raped and confided to him about it and found out about other things from my chilhood i asked him what else happened I knew somehing he lied thenthe main thing was he text my mother in detail what he did to me he was in his late 20s when he sent that txt
So you're mad about him confessing? He didn't do the rape, right? Just the inappropriate touching at 9? Have you asked yourself why you're angry that he confessed? Unfortunately, this type of inappropriate touching happens a lot when young children live together. It even happened to me but for much longer and he was even older than nine. It went on for many years. It happened with my half brother and my step brothers. However it was with my half brother that it continued. When we got to an age to know just what it was that was happening it stopped and he never touched me again. My mother knows what happened. I told her and she talked to my brother about it as well. I have zero hard feelings towards my brother. He was just a kid and didn't know what he was doing. I process it as he was sexually experimenting at a young age and meant no harm and didn't know any better. I've totally forgiven him. He's 41 and I'm 36 and we are close with no awkwardness at all. Kids do stupid things.
@RandomJelly I feel, just because that is how ‘YOU’ dealt with what happened to ‘YOU’, it doesn’t give the right to expect others to follow your experience / example / insight into forgiveness…And, expect others to be / do / want the same… Everybody is different and being a sufferer of Childhood Sexual Abuse Myself, there is ‘No Way In Hell’, I could or, ever will forgive ‘My Asbusers’ - Not Matter What Age… I also feel, when, one is 9 yrs old, they know right and wrong… That to me, is fact…I do not think, it is just something ‘Stupid’ 9 yr old kids ‘Just Do’… I feel The person your posting was directed to, has every right to be ‘Angry’ and, perhaps, you misread the posting… Perhaps you, did not read It, in the way, it was meant to be read… I know for me, I totally ‘Understand’ the other persons feeling, anger etc… As for ‘Trust’, I completely ‘Get That Too’ as, I do ‘NOT’ Trust anybody and ‘IT’ has been a major issues all throughout my life… Anybody, who ‘Sexually Abuses’ somebody else is, ‘The Scum Of The Earth’ and even that, is too ‘Good’ a use of words and description for them… They are ‘Dregs Of Society’ no matter, what Age the ‘IT’ happened…
He told my mother he tried raping me. I wasnt sure how detailed I wanted to get so no Yes I'm angry he confessed to my mother especially knowing what I have been through. I have been lied to by everyone some where trying to protect me but when they finally say it it's like talking about the weather I have major trust issues. I do understand what your saying maybe one day I can forgive him not right now to me he seems selfish in what he did and is doing plus he didn't stop with me he is a level 3 offender
@Hcece30 Hi, I’m so sorry for what happened to you… I also wanted to check-in with you, to make sure your OK after the previous ‘Persons’ inappropriate posting…I just wanted to tell you, I totally ‘Get’ where you are coming from and, I totally ‘Understand’… As a sufferer of Childhood Sexual Assault / Rape / Torture, I could NOT / would NOT / will NOT EVER Forgive ANY of my Abusers… I am here for you and, would really like to get to know you better… I too have ‘Major Trust Issues’ but, I’d really like to ‘Try’ to be ‘Cyber Friends’ with you… I do not have ‘Any Real Friends’ in the ‘Real World’ because of ‘Trust Issues’ and I suffer from ‘BPD’ too… You can PM me anytime. Day / Night as, I suffer from Insomnia along with quite a few other Issues / Illnesses… I prefer to talk through PM’s as, I feel I can ‘speak more freely’ and ‘Open-Up-More-On-A-One-To-One-Basis’… Please reach out… Thinking of You…Sent With Love, Trish x
@Osultrus you need an attitude check fast! I was relating my experience and never once did I tell her that that was how she needed to handle hers. This is about relating and sharing experiences. I simply stated mine and that's allowed and encouraged here. I never put any expectations on anyone and that's clear. You need to reread and you owe me an apology. You should be ashamed of yourself!
@RandomJelly I apologise if I Uspet You. it was ‘NOT’ Intentional… I was just expressing my feelings in Respone to a Posting… It was NOT a personal Attack as you make it out to be… Just my opinion but one which was ‘Definately Not Meant To Hurt Anybody’s Feelings’… I know what these SG sites are meant for and, I’m so pleased and gratefull that, they are here as, they are a life lifeline to me… Thank You
@hcece30 thanks for answering my questions and clearing things up! I'm glad you were smart enough to know that I was simply sharing what happened to me and nothing more. That's so odd of him to be telling your mom all this stuff. Does he think he's confessing and clearing his slate or is he just some morbid weirdo that wants to talk about it and relive it? Has your mom tried to talk to you or support you or did she ever offer to take you to therapy? Therapy helps loads! I'm so sorry you had to find out that he tried to rape you. That's so soul jarring! Are you still living at home? That can't be a healthy environment for you if you aren't being supported. How old are you now?
I'm 27 I live at home because of my medical issues he does not live here . We only discussed this once I have gone to therapy off and on it did help but there is only so much it can do plus its a long process. at the time I think he wanted me to ruin his life to have someone to blame now I think because he is did/is getting a divorce he feels alone but he got married maybe a year or so before so 26 7 ish to a 16 yr old sorry I get his age mixed up because I haven't seen him since we where kids
Btw, I find it sickening that anyone in your family would associate with a level 3 offender, let alone one who molested their family member. As a mother, I sure wouldn't be taking his phone calls! The only reason why I forgave my brother after years of anger and suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts was because when I got older I learned that he too was molested and he was a little kid just reenacting learned behavior. He was horrified at his behavior when he was old enough to know what he had done was wrong and he never did anything to anyone else once he was an older kid or an adult. He's a wonderful human being and I'm grateful he's in my life. All abuse stories are different and some are worse than others but we all hurt and I think it bonds all of us victims in some way. It's great that we can find and support each other in places like this.
Wow... He married a 16 year old? That's just disgusting. I hope you keep giving therapy a try because life gets hard and sometimes we just have to cave and ask for help. I too have medical issues. I'm an ex police officer who is now disabled. When I was a cop I worked with child protection services on abuse cases. I was called in when they had to interview abused children because the kids felt safe with me. It broke my heart hearing all the stories and sometimes seeing mothers defend the abusers. I made it my goal to throw scum behind bars for their actions. I also loved serving warrants on registered sex offenders and making sure they went back to prison. They try to hide but I always found them!
@RandomJelly I’m happy there are people like you that can do that job. I voluntered at a shelter and took foster class when I was doing OK realized I couldn’t do it because of the politics knowing I may have to give kid back or visiting after I know what some of the parents did.
We've thought about fostering as well. You bring up a good point, it can be heart breaking sending those innocent kids back into unfit homes! We were trying to conceive but I recently had surgeries and have to have a few more in the next couple of months. Two of the surgeries could complicate future pregnancies so we may have to give up that dream.