Trigger warning (maybe I don't know, I just start typing the

Trigger warning (maybe I don't know, I just start typing then finish with what is on my mind)
I had to hack into WiFi just to get on so if I don't respond right away I either killed myself or just couldn't get back on the WiFi to get on this site and my school WiFi blocks this site so anyways....
I'm so done with life, I don't want to live it anymore, I feel like I'm just a waste of space, so many of my friends I can't even talk to anymore because I hate how they always pressure me to stop cutting or having suicidal thoughts, my parents pressure me at home with school and yelling at me if I forget to turn something it doesn't even matter about my grade anymore, just how many assignments are missing. I can't even talk to my girlfriend much anymore because of my mom getting mad and shutting me off the WiFi and because I don't have my laptop which has Skype and that's the only way we can talk, (it's online and our parents don't know so we can't just text). She was really the only reason I haven killed myself yet but it kills me to not be able to know that she is okay, I hacked the WiFi today so I could get this message out, maybe get help but nothing probably could help me now, I've dug myself a hole and can't get out anymore, my thought are too much for me to handle anymore.
Emotional I'm in pain
Mentally I'm depressed
Spiritual I'm stressed
Physical I hide behind a smile

Sorry this is long....

What have you done to reach out and let your parents know you need help and support? Do you have people you know would support you? I wonder if there was a way to get your friends to help you on your road to recovering from self harm, without the pressure? I know that you don't like getting pressure to stop, but that fact that you are here with us shows that you see it might be a problem worth recovering from. What are your thoughts? Hugs to you!

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