***Trigger Warning*** On Friday, I texted my therapist as

***Trigger Warning***

On Friday, I texted my therapist asking if he could call because I needed to talk a bit more about session the night before and what had been spinning around in my head. I am struggling with reconciling the Jekyll and Hyde that was my sperm donor, of seeing that the person who sexually assaulted me from the age of 3 until I started my period just shy of turning 12, who used me as a punching bag, and emotionally tore me down, could have also been nice as well...

What we talked about Thursday night came together in a way that I could not verbalize while talking with my therapist in our session. To accept that what the sperm donor did to me was not my fault, was not something I could control is to accept that I am a VICTIM. And to accept that I am a victim is to accept that I am WEAK. This is causing quite a bit of internal conflict and anxiety and as way of coping, for what it's worth, I have been hurting myself. I am being reckless. I am rebelling. While talking with my therapist about not being able to, and maybe not wanting to, stop hurting myself, he pointed out that I am continuing to victimize myself by engaging in these destructive behaviors. Instead of helping me to stop by bringing this into the light, I am doubling down. I am picking fights at home, and I can't seem to walk away from arguments. I am slipping back into sleeping during the day, though yesterday may have been because I took a Xanax in an effort to quell the urges, something my therapist and I had discussed doing during our session.

I can not be a victim. I cannot...

I'm sorry that you're spinning and hurting yourself. There's something that you said that I want to point out, and put into context. Please bare with me

Being a victim, does NOT make you weak. I'm not sure where this message comes/came from. You were a victim as a child. You're a SURVIVOR now though, because you're dealing with the trauma and everything that came from that experience. Please do not get held up on a term. It's not worth the destruction to your mind, body, and more importantly, your progress.

I'm here if you need/want to talk. We can support each other and pm, or talk out in the open. It's your choice.

1 Heart

@Justwanttobeloved - thank you for sharing your take on the Victim/Survivor issue. I wish I could make that shift, but I can’t… maybe not yet. I just don’t know how to do that, and I don’t know how that message is such a deep belief of mine. The abuse and the subsequent abuses by other guys, the rapes, ‘using’ men to get affection and shelter and the attention HE pulled from me when I didn’t serve a purpose anymore. There was the boyfriend who when I told him I was pregnant (at 17) beat me so much, punched me in the stomach so many times, that I miscarried. There were the ones that I allowed to use me. That’s not surviving. I have made so many bad choices, so many. I don’t deserve to be called a survivor…

I don’t know how to PM. Please feel free to reach out. Have a nice afternoon!
Brenna