⚠️Trigger Warning: SH ⚠️ (second half of post) Tod

⚠️Trigger Warning: SH ⚠️ (second half of post)
Today was my son's 2nd birthday and he has done nothing but scream and hurt himself all day. We find out his autism evaluation results tomorrow but I'm 110% certain he is autistic. I just wish I knew how to handle the situation when he starts freaking out and having meltdowns. I usually try to hold him but I'm so tired of getting hurt in the process. I get so overwhelmed and over stimulated I can't process how to handle the situation. His dad just gets frustrated and yells at him and then I get p*ssed off and we fight about it later.

I started the Vraylar today after being on the Wellbutrin since March 7th. I've been so miserable though. I have been on both before just never together. I took the Vraylar by itself for a year and was able to survive day to day which is better than it was before I was on it but I wouldn't say it "worked". I took the Wellbutrin with Invega and a few other medications and I did notice a significant difference however there were still a few issues we couldn't get figured out. My hallucinations and delusions are still awful if not a little worse. Which I know I just started the medication today but I kinda feel the Wellbutrin made it worse. Praying it will balance out because I don't think I can handle coming off these meds to try new ones. I've been lying to my fiance so I don't have to go to the hospital because my baby needs me. No I don't have anyone I can leave him with because I don't trust a soul with him. So far I've been able to fight the urges to self harm but tbh I don't know how much longer I can do that. I much rather cut or burn myself to feel an ounce of relief than abandon my baby to go to the hospital and risk them taking him from me. He's the only reason I'm even trying anymore and if I lose him that's it... Game over...

This all sounds overwhelmingly hard to deal with. I really would not know where to start, so kudos to you for simply surviving it all! REALLY hoping things settle down for you, the new meds work, and life in general improves. For what it's worth (not much, I know) my thoughts are with you.

1 Heart

How's it going? Did you get the evaluation results, and do they open any doors to getting help? Thinking of you...

@buddhabob He is a level 3 on the autism spectrum. Level 3 being the most severe. We have a phone appointment with social security on March 31st. After that I’m considering taking a much needed mental health vacation to the grippy sock farm to get my meds situated.