Trigger Warning: Suicide. I am feeling so stuck in life. I f

Trigger Warning: Suicide. I am feeling so stuck in life. I feel like I'm going nowhere. i feel so alone but i have so many people around me and in my corner. I just feel annoying having to reach out all the time. i have an amazing boyfriend who is keeping me going. i have a best friend who i need to take a break from because shes doing so well in life. I cant help myself but to hate her right now. i feel so sad when i look at her because shes always doing something better than me. she asks to hang out but i always cancel last minute. i deleted all social media because every time id see her post, id want to die. the other day she went to a gathering in the woods and didnt even invite me. WHAT???? it made me so angry and triggered me so hard that i cried at the beach date my boyfriend and i had. I have bipolar disorder and i can be happy one second and then wanna die the next second. its so hard to deal with. im on meds too and they just randomly stopped working.

i think about dying a lot and ive tried several times in the last month and a half. i even ended up in the hospital. i HATE this feeling so much. i just wanna be happy again. i just wanna be happy.

I hope you have access to a therapist. Very sorry you are going thru this.

2 Hearts

@Soaringsoul421 I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through, it's got to be really rough on you I can relate to some of the things you posted about, like depression, feeling stuck in life and like you don't feel you're life is going anywhere and comparing yourself to others and not feeling like you measure up, it's a brutal demoralizing feeling. But you are very lucky to have a lot of good friends in your corner that care about you, and that you have such a good boyfriend. Don't ever feel annoyed for reaching out, I'm sure you are not annoying them at all, people especially people that are close to you I'm sure are more then happy to help you and to listen to you, it makes people feel good and useful when they can help others. I would like to suggest a couple of YouTube videos for you to watch when you have the time, I really think they will help you. The first video is called. Jordan Peterson: advice for people with depression. The channel name is, Motivational Madness. I suggest you watch this one first. The second video is called. Watch whey you feel like giving up! Best of Jordan Peterson Greatest Advice. The channel name is, Mulligan brothers. They have helped me a lot, I hope they help you too. Hang in there.

1 Heart

@TT86 Thank you so much my love. Your words are healing and very helpful. i know i dont know you but i love you <3 :slight_smile:

From Mood Disorders to Bipolar Disorder