=trigger warning= suicide,ranting,parents,self harm

=trigger warning=

suicide,ranting,parents,self harm

im a burden in every aspect of my life. when im at work, at home around family, even around friends. we're planning a trip in january to meet and i know ill jus be third wheeling the entire time. im so unwanted and in the way all the time. if i had any manners i would jus end it. my mother could use the life insurance to buy more stupid clothes, and my dad could use it to finish drowning himself in liquor. maybe theyd use it as the big boost that finally splits them up. maybe id have had more mental capability if they had split up 17yrs ago like they were supposed to. instead they had makeup sex and had their favorite child. im such a disappointment they want me to stay in my room everyday so they dont have to look at me. out of sight out of mind. they only check on me when they havent seen me for a day or two. im alive soley out of spite. i dont want them to have peace while i feel so cheated. they dont get to live comfortably while im rotting.

Why do you think you are a disappointment to them? It sounds like they have disappointed you as parents. Do you have other family like grandparents that you enjoy being around? Don't punish yourself for them not being the patents you need. What they do or don't do isnt your fault. All of us want our parents to be there for us and when they aren't it can really screw us up. Who can blame you for feeling the way you do? At some point you need to accept the way they are, you don't need to like it but you will have to find other ways to feel loved and excepted like with other family and friends. You are worthy just like anyone else it's just your parents have issues and can't be what you need. It isn't you, it's them.