Trouble believing my misfortune and coping with it

Mental Health Anxiety & Panic Disorders
1

i was fired on monday after being suspended for 2 months. i have been looking for work but the market for what i do is saturated and i have had no success in finding new work. i was looking the whole time i was suspended too.

i am learning how to fill out applications more i guess.

i can't believe what i have lost. a good paying job because my manager did not like me. i don't think i will ever recover from this. everyday is like waking up into a nightmare. everyday i cry the hot tears of injustic for being terminated for trumped up charges after 8 years of dedicated service. i will lose my home soon, but i can rent out my apartment and live on my third floor with no heat (i will use space heaters) and no shower! (i will shower at a friends house, how clumsy and poverty stricken). but i need to spend money getting my kitchen and bathroom to the point where i can rent it and i will do into my saving for that.

i have a year of unemployment (right now maybe more) and hopefully i will find something soon. i will have to give up my animals and they will be hard to find a home for.

i lost my health care today, but i live in the good state of massachusettes and i can get something until my job comes through. i have hope for the future still, but i loved my house and my job, except my manager who i never ever even saw but i am having trouble coping with someone hating me enough to harm me like this so cruely. i will never understand her reaction to me at all. it was so unfair and bizarre.

I've needed a new job for a long time, but now is a bad time to look. used to be someone with my skills could get a job in a flash. not now. maybe not ever again. i am flying on the seat of my pants.

I will have to move for work because it is too saturated in this area, and perhaps everywhere for that matter. i don't know. i am terrified. a recruiter says i have a good shot at a job in st louis, but i own a property in mass, a rental. and i never bothered to fix up the place i live in cuz i just figured i'd fix it when i got around to it.

i tried to find a roommate, but it is hard. too many people renting rooms now because something happened to them.

I have not gone a day without anxiety meds in i dont know how long. someday they will run out (my doctor gave me a lot before my insurance ran out) and they don't help either with the pain of someone hating you so much they want to harm you and harm you badly. why. why are people so crazy and heartless. she wanted to be nice to me but somehow somehow. it is such a long story and so insane. she was mean and a crazy at me. crazy.

i will never recover. everyday is saddness and misery and fear for me. i have send out 50 resumes since monday and my phone is dead silent. it is so terrifiying. god help us all. i pray for all the unemployed and suffering. we should be happy fulfilled people.

2

ejovan .... you are not alone.

Please know that someone always has it worse than you do. It might not seem like it but someone somewhere really does have it worse.

I too went through something similar. I was forced to leave my job because they found out I had a mental health issue. They tormented me every day until I finally left. They were absolutely cruel to me.

I had to learn what it was like to live without so MANY things too. I basically took an 80% reduction in pay because SSD doesn't pay all that much. I had to get rid of a lot of things such as my pets, my car, food that I liked to eat, etc... I also had to sell all the stuff that I really liked too. I now live on the bare bones and/or the essentials of life.

Every day is a struggle. However, I have hope. I know that there are jobs out there I can apply for. I might not like the new pay scale but ... the work is there. I might also have to move.

There are options out there. You will survive. This is just a temporary set back. Just try to look for the positive in your situation. The good thing is that you no longer have to work with that individual who made it hard for you at that job. That to me is a HUGE positive.

Good luck. It will get better. :)

3

dear Luvheadmeds, thank you for your kind response to my suffering. i am still spending to much money on beer (i have a bladder disease and can only drink one expensive brand which is a microbrew). foolish. today a mason came to fix tiles in my bathroom and my tenants driveway. i dread the bill. a bill like this when i am not working.

I am going to go back to the internet and surf for jobs which i need a drink and an anxiety pill for cuz it makes me nuts it is so competative out there.

and i can't even move yet

and yes, i know there are people much worse off than me, but i don't want to end up being worse off and i dont need to feel better because other people are worse off.

i think if i don't get a job by dec, i will go back to school for nursing (RN), and i don't know if i have the talent for that. i am not exactly young. wow. fucked up.

i am sorry you gave up your pets. i own guinea pigs. i dote over them and have made them happy. who the hell wants guinea pigs. no one. i must start placing them. get pics and go for it.

right now i am still in my home. i imagine getting another job, putting them in a temporary shelter and paying their room and board, and then gettting them when i set up again, but that is the positive voice saying i will get a job soon. the negative voice is freaking me out. i might not be able to compete in tight market with a termination behind me.

i have a job 2 days a week, but i can't live on it. it is much more than your SSI i am sure.

god bless you. i am so sorry someone tortured you at your job, but what bothers me is that my union let it happen. did n't see through the bull.

I guess my house, my life, my livelihood, my pets, my world does not matter as long as some manager with a vendentta wants to stupidly harm you.

and they let it happen. course i am pissed at them.

she was just a nusiance. everyone liked me at my job except a oddball or two that no one else liked either. and i loved my job too. i have great references. great.

i am praying for you. i am praying hard for you. i would like to go a day without alcohol (soon i won't be able to afford it) and a day without my anxiety meds (which started with the termination). i am so pissed about this. how the hell did this happen

fantastic. i just want to read a book and relax, but i cant. i can't watch a show on tv. i just surf for jobs and every bad surf sends me into a wave of disappointment.

I am going nuts. a friend from childhood emailed me and told me her 47yr old boyfriend (who she loved) had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. he won't last long. of course i know other people have it worse than me. course.

i need my job. somehow. somewhere. need a full time job. god help us all get work again soon. god help us all. you can get cancer from not working worrying about it and drinking yourself sick. you need to have mens sana corporo sano (sound mind, sound body) to be healthy and fight disease.

and that woman at my job, i never saw her. she was a phantom manager we never saw. it is fantasic she developed a ding dong vendetta against me at. fantastically ridiculous. god will punish her nice and sharp, i know that.

i must job hunt. it is such a drag.. god bless you luv. god bless you for responding to me. it is no small task.

4

ejovan ...

Every time I have posted my resume online over the last 14 years I have had to send out a lot of them. I am talking 25 a day for months on end. It wasn't hard to post 300 resumes a week. Finding a new job takes time. You can easily spend three months and more looking.

You may want to follow up on the postings. You may want to submit your resume again after 6 weeks passed.

You might even want to solicit your resume to places that do not have a posting for a job vacancy. This works really well too.

As for your guinea pigs: We had two of them once. I found out the hard way I was highly allergic to them. However, we found them a nice home with some guinea pig rescue in Southern Jersey.

Then, another time I had to give up our chinchillas, degus and cats. All I had to do was look up animal rescues on the Internet and post something on Craigslist.com

As for your age and schooling: OMG ... you are not that old. Many people who are your age and older are going back to school. Many of those people love to tell me how awesome they feel that they are going back. There’s something about going to school that makes us feel younger.

One last thing: Please abstain from the alcohol. That is a DEADLY combo you are playing with. Nothing good is going to come from that. Also, you will put yourself into a deeper depression with that combo

I would like to suggest that you do some things to help you cope with what is going on now.

1) Journal your feelings and how you are doing each day. If you feel depressed/sad, then just start to write. It is amazing at how much better you will after you start this.

2) Do something nice for yourself. Take a long hot bath, smell some candles, go for a walk, call an old friend, scrapbook, etc ... Just do something nice for yourself. You will feel so much better.

3) Please continue to share with us. We are here for you.

4) Exercise will help you feel better too. When you exercise your body will release specific neurotransmitters that are like taking happy drugs. :)

Here are some other things you can check out to help you forget about your situation:

1) Volunteer. By doing this you will find satisfaction in helping someone else. You can go to: http://www.volunteermatch.org/ to find something local to you.

2) Meet new people. You can use: http://www.meetup.com/ to find something that you would be interested in and that is local to you.

I hope there is something that you can do today to make yourself smile. :)

5

i just spend 9 years responding to your post and thanking your for kindly responding to my cry for help. and i think your suggestions were brilliant. yes, i need to give up the booze, but if i can't drink 6 days after getting fired from a really good high paying job with benefits and a pension and a 401K and everything and 10.5 weeks vacation i built up over years, when can i drink
!!!

anyway. i am thinking seriously of going back to school for RN. i am already in medical cardiac ultrasound and boy does it suck cuz in this econonmy all the people who needed jobs went to school for a quickie tech skill and now the market is saturated and all the jobs are per diem, like if someone calls out sick they will give you a call, but who can pay a mortgage like that!!!

and i MIGTH be able to get a job if i move to alaska or something, but EVEN that is competative.

I can fix up my flat and move to my third floor with no heat or a shower, let alone a tub. i can do it. plus i have unemployment plus i still have a part time job only 2 days a week, just i never though of living on it before, witha mortgage and all.

wow. live threw me a curve ball. my last manager hated me with the passion of 1000 burning suns. what? WHY? BIZARRO. Once 2 years ago i spoke to her with irriation in my voice (i should have been) and she never forgave me (big deal) has no one ever been irriated with you before. but since she is the queen she got to chop my head off and the union did not do ****. not ****. watched it happen like they were having their bread and circus.