I suspected that my wife was first cheating over christmas 2010. She started to disappear for long periods of times and when she was home, she spent far too much time is restroom. She became distant and paid less and less attention to my three children and I. She was more interested in being on the computer and started to act and dress differently. It was obvious, yet i wanted to give her the benefit of doubt.
My wife has been a stay at home mom for sometime now. She has felt under valued and as kids have grown (6,8,12) and become more involved in school and other activities, she failed to fill the gap.
I quickly caught on and discovered an account she had on p***ion.com. She had left computer on and daughter was researching and asked for my help. As i began to search one of the windows popped up. There it was, explicit conversations with several men. ON in particular jumped out. She was in restroom with locked door and in my rage a broke the lock. Of course she denied and said i was paranoid. She said it was all meaningless. I left out of town the following week on a one day business trip. She constantly called me to check on me that day and accused me of having dinner with someone. To be clear, I have never had an affair with anyone or remotely close. I am guilty of overworking and not being as supportive as I perhaps should have been.
One night as she slept, i went through her calls and phone to discover she had established an email account. My wife is not computer saavy so i easily went into history and saw the exchange with same man from previous week. They had shared lunch on the day i was out of town. I emailed him back and requested his phone which he quickly responded.
The next day i confronted my wife again and she denied, of course. I my rage, i grabbed her purse and retrieved p***words to more accounts. I found that she remained online and established additional accounts. My wife had requested that this man get tested for aids...which the dumb *** did. They discussed where they would meet. I was torn. I eventually built up the courage and called this man. As i had done enough research to find out that he was an attorney with a high ranking agency and his wife a school teacher (i knew which school), i used that info to clarify. He said that they had only shared meals and that he would stay away. In the call records i had come across 3 or 4 numbers and ***umed that they were the attorneys as he travelled between several area codes.
My wife and I made some promises that day to work through and I started seeing a counselor. She refused. I stopped snooping as it was so downgrading and humiliating. However, the signs of infidelity remained. There were conversations with 3 or 4 men on her online expedition. For two months, i fought the urge despite my gut telling me otherwise. I constantly told her that I could forgive and needed her to be transparent, but she only mocked me. Therapist told me to take the high road and start taking care of myself. I had ordered records after the first event for the next three months and while i had them, i fought the urge to look at them. BUT, a week ago, i was upset that she was consistently away and checked the records. There was one of the familiar number 30-40 times per month. As phone provider does not provide text records, i fear what that would have looked like. I had only called the one phone number...the attorney back in january and ***umed it was same. I confronted wife and again she denied. She said i was paranoid and suffering from some psychotic disorder.
I pleaded that she come clean. I cried. And she tried to re***ure me that these calls were to a new girlfriend she had met that provided comfort and listening.
I have spent many weekends and evening with my three children. Running from gymnastics, preparing dinner, violin practice, and homework. Anyone with family knows how much effort that requires with two parents...but to do it all alone, i was overwhlemed. I found myself crying as i washed dishes, raked, and cleaned. I have spend hours cleaning over the past couple of months as I waited up for my wife to arrive. My kids constantly ask where mom is at. When she arrived home, she was demanding and barking orders. She was giving her best to her new relationship and we were being thrown scraps.
My wife had stayed out the whole night last Friday. She said i was suffocating her so she claimed she had a few drinks and was going to sleep it off in car. She only started sipping wine and drinking beer in last four months. I was so upset that night. I called the number to find out it was not the attorney but one of the other creeps from the online room. As I cried, I searched the name online and found that this man had been found guilty of child luring a 14 year old two years prior. BUT, I wasn't completely sure. I texted this info to wife. After a few minutes i started getting response from her that she was sorry and had been a "stupid idiot." She texted that she would be home shortly and that if i could find it within me start fresh.
She never showed until the following afternoon. Instead of overreacting, I tried to be accepting. I love my wife.
Yesterday, I spent the morning working around the house. She had to make a quick run to pick up watch and left. No surprise, come dinner time and five hours later, she had not returned and ignored our calls and text to meet us for dinner. I walked down the street with kids. We debated over this great pizza restaurant or hamburger place. The kids opted for hamburgers. We had a good pleasant time.
Kids were running in front of me chasing a ball on way home. As we turn corner, there they were My wife and this other man kissing in front of his car at the pizza place we almost went into. She spotted us and they both started to scatter, but stopped. In my rage, i ran across the street and dragged this man, much taller than I, along the wall. I kept dragging him pushing him to the ground. Meantime, my wife grabbed my three kids and took them away.
He kept yelling that he would not get near my wife again. I was disgusted, as this was the man i suspected of luring a 14 year old girl. I had read that he had driven 200 miles to meet her. He had been set-up like on dateline. He had masturbated in front of video camera and he was arrested. I hounded him about this which he initially denied, but as i dragged him along the floor and he saw my rage, he admitted that he had made mistakes and he was in "wrong state of mind" at time. My heart dropped...how could my wife have dragged this animal into our lives. I saw a fear in his eyes that even scared me and as onlookers watched, I let my grip go. He started yelling that my wife was going to divorce me and how i had been so careless with her. I fought all my urges to jump back on him and force a struggle until police arrived.
I walked away. I should have walked opposite my home, but the cries of my daughter rang in my head. My wife was in denial. This was not the man; he had ***ured her. He was just a fling and could careless about him. But her denial clearly told me that she has developed a bond....
Unfortunately, last night, i left house in order to provide the space for all of us. The kids should not be disrupted and wife was not willing to leave. I called the police 200 miles away that night as i did not want any doubts to remain. Happens that the deputy working the midnite shift was the arresting officer. He eerily described this man and his vehicle without me inquiring. My stomach turned when i finally received the report that he had plead guilty and got off with 1 year probation; his 20,000 bail was refunded. His probation was up in December, when my wife started to exchange with him................