True story of infidelity

I suspected that my wife was first cheating over christmas 2010. She started to disappear for long periods of times and when she was home, she spent far too much time is restroom. She became distant and paid less and less attention to my three children and I. She was more interested in being on the computer and started to act and dress differently. It was obvious, yet i wanted to give her the benefit of doubt.

My wife has been a stay at home mom for sometime now. She has felt under valued and as kids have grown (6,8,12) and become more involved in school and other activities, she failed to fill the gap.

I quickly caught on and discovered an account she had on p***ion.com. She had left computer on and daughter was researching and asked for my help. As i began to search one of the windows popped up. There it was, explicit conversations with several men. ON in particular jumped out. She was in restroom with locked door and in my rage a broke the lock. Of course she denied and said i was paranoid. She said it was all meaningless. I left out of town the following week on a one day business trip. She constantly called me to check on me that day and accused me of having dinner with someone. To be clear, I have never had an affair with anyone or remotely close. I am guilty of overworking and not being as supportive as I perhaps should have been.

One night as she slept, i went through her calls and phone to discover she had established an email account. My wife is not computer saavy so i easily went into history and saw the exchange with same man from previous week. They had shared lunch on the day i was out of town. I emailed him back and requested his phone which he quickly responded.

The next day i confronted my wife again and she denied, of course. I my rage, i grabbed her purse and retrieved p***words to more accounts. I found that she remained online and established additional accounts. My wife had requested that this man get tested for aids...which the dumb *** did. They discussed where they would meet. I was torn. I eventually built up the courage and called this man. As i had done enough research to find out that he was an attorney with a high ranking agency and his wife a school teacher (i knew which school), i used that info to clarify. He said that they had only shared meals and that he would stay away. In the call records i had come across 3 or 4 numbers and ***umed that they were the attorneys as he travelled between several area codes.

My wife and I made some promises that day to work through and I started seeing a counselor. She refused. I stopped snooping as it was so downgrading and humiliating. However, the signs of infidelity remained. There were conversations with 3 or 4 men on her online expedition. For two months, i fought the urge despite my gut telling me otherwise. I constantly told her that I could forgive and needed her to be transparent, but she only mocked me. Therapist told me to take the high road and start taking care of myself. I had ordered records after the first event for the next three months and while i had them, i fought the urge to look at them. BUT, a week ago, i was upset that she was consistently away and checked the records. There was one of the familiar number 30-40 times per month. As phone provider does not provide text records, i fear what that would have looked like. I had only called the one phone number...the attorney back in january and ***umed it was same. I confronted wife and again she denied. She said i was paranoid and suffering from some psychotic disorder.

I pleaded that she come clean. I cried. And she tried to re***ure me that these calls were to a new girlfriend she had met that provided comfort and listening.

I have spent many weekends and evening with my three children. Running from gymnastics, preparing dinner, violin practice, and homework. Anyone with family knows how much effort that requires with two parents...but to do it all alone, i was overwhlemed. I found myself crying as i washed dishes, raked, and cleaned. I have spend hours cleaning over the past couple of months as I waited up for my wife to arrive. My kids constantly ask where mom is at. When she arrived home, she was demanding and barking orders. She was giving her best to her new relationship and we were being thrown scraps.

My wife had stayed out the whole night last Friday. She said i was suffocating her so she claimed she had a few drinks and was going to sleep it off in car. She only started sipping wine and drinking beer in last four months. I was so upset that night. I called the number to find out it was not the attorney but one of the other creeps from the online room. As I cried, I searched the name online and found that this man had been found guilty of child luring a 14 year old two years prior. BUT, I wasn't completely sure. I texted this info to wife. After a few minutes i started getting response from her that she was sorry and had been a "stupid idiot." She texted that she would be home shortly and that if i could find it within me start fresh.

She never showed until the following afternoon. Instead of overreacting, I tried to be accepting. I love my wife.

Yesterday, I spent the morning working around the house. She had to make a quick run to pick up watch and left. No surprise, come dinner time and five hours later, she had not returned and ignored our calls and text to meet us for dinner. I walked down the street with kids. We debated over this great pizza restaurant or hamburger place. The kids opted for hamburgers. We had a good pleasant time.

Kids were running in front of me chasing a ball on way home. As we turn corner, there they were My wife and this other man kissing in front of his car at the pizza place we almost went into. She spotted us and they both started to scatter, but stopped. In my rage, i ran across the street and dragged this man, much taller than I, along the wall. I kept dragging him pushing him to the ground. Meantime, my wife grabbed my three kids and took them away.

He kept yelling that he would not get near my wife again. I was disgusted, as this was the man i suspected of luring a 14 year old girl. I had read that he had driven 200 miles to meet her. He had been set-up like on dateline. He had masturbated in front of video camera and he was arrested. I hounded him about this which he initially denied, but as i dragged him along the floor and he saw my rage, he admitted that he had made mistakes and he was in "wrong state of mind" at time. My heart dropped...how could my wife have dragged this animal into our lives. I saw a fear in his eyes that even scared me and as onlookers watched, I let my grip go. He started yelling that my wife was going to divorce me and how i had been so careless with her. I fought all my urges to jump back on him and force a struggle until police arrived.

I walked away. I should have walked opposite my home, but the cries of my daughter rang in my head. My wife was in denial. This was not the man; he had ***ured her. He was just a fling and could careless about him. But her denial clearly told me that she has developed a bond....

Unfortunately, last night, i left house in order to provide the space for all of us. The kids should not be disrupted and wife was not willing to leave. I called the police 200 miles away that night as i did not want any doubts to remain. Happens that the deputy working the midnite shift was the arresting officer. He eerily described this man and his vehicle without me inquiring. My stomach turned when i finally received the report that he had plead guilty and got off with 1 year probation; his 20,000 bail was refunded. His probation was up in December, when my wife started to exchange with him................

My Friend,

You have every Right to divorce this woman, your trust has been terribly broken, and I hate to say it but this woman is Not mentally Ill, Just being Purely selfish.... There is No excuse for this behavior except her only thinking of herself..This is deviant behavior, and you need to think of yourself and your kids first.

normally,I would always suggest people try to work out thier issues, but in your case, I would never trust this gal again.....I can only suggest you pray for her and get yourself a good lawyer

thank you ron. i am struggling to let go right now. i know that i am in denial. i have been married for 15 years and did not see this completely coming. she has been totally selfish and you are absolutely right about no excuses. i feel the need to be alone now, but my children seek me out and i have to be there for them. i try to not pass judgement and start the process of forgiving, but right now super hard to erase the images, thoughts, and details of last 4 months.

i know she is hurting despite trying not to show. i do pray for her and my family…i need her healthy and strong for my children regardless if we need to separate.

I strongly believe in the values of marriage and the whole, till death do us part. But, this is unlivable! Your a patient man, NO, a SAINT!

Your wife has hit rock bottom- she has no shame. She's lucky that she hasn't ended up on a milk carton. She's on dangerous ground, and putting her entire family at risk with her reckless behavior.

Is your family religious? It really sounds like you all could use some good old fashioned Spirituality. I was kind of a wild woman in my day (I'm 30), and I am getting baptized this Sunday in the Catholic Church. Both my husband and I are... It has changed my life. Everything changes when you answer to a higher being. Your wife doesn't feel like she has to answer to anyone, but infidelity is a mortal sin.

What she is doing to herself and you is just volatile. Is she a sex addict? She really needs some help, and if you decide to give it to her, you should really look into the church. its more helpful than therapy. It will also help you! You must be disgusted with people right now, but just remember that there is something much greater in yourselves than what is happening to you right now. I'm praying for you.

not a saint by far as i know that i have to take responsibility for focusing on schooling and career and not taking greater role in pulling her alongside me at all times. i realize now that my selfishness in developing career came at cost to family. i failed to balance. i was on road alot and worked late.

Love is a beautiful thing and i wish i had nurtured our relationship with same eagerness and responsibility as career.

god i hope she is not a sex addict; i want to believe that she is not. she claims that she never went beyond seeking comfort in dialogue and the kissing was just recent. she claims she did not know the details that i discovered and will never see this man again. perhaps it is better to not know the details, but i know that it will always linger in me if i don’t get transparency and a sense of closure.

thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

....four days later (my original post)

i remain upset and want answers. i want her to fully lay out the extents of her acts. she refuses to talk, yet she tells me that i am the one that needs to fight to keep our family together. she sought me out after i left home -- . she refuses to be fully transparent. she says very little and seems surprised by my reaction. she tells me that i need to get a hold of my self, to get help, to pick myself up.

i feel so humiliated.

a part of me wants to resolve and work things through. i am willing and have wanted couples therapy for a long time. she refuses to believe that therapy will lead to healing. i know i can't force her to attend. the other part wants to run far from her, but my children keep me grounded.

how does one overcome this. what does one need to say and do on a dialy basis to remain balanced and sane? i exercise and do see a counselor every other week on own. how does one make the pain go away? how do i stay strong for my children and self? what do i do about her? just let her be?

i sat in the parking lot of a lawyers office this morning for initial consultation, but cancelled at last minute. i convinced myself that i should invest in therapy for family and wife instead of lawyer just now.

is it foolish to think that we can get over infidelity?

You should probably get that initial consultation. If anything its good to be ready for just about anything.

Don't blame working your tail off and being gone all the time for her infidelities. That is a choice she alone made, while you were working to provide her with the comfort she is used to. She stays at home with kids, I'm guessing? Whatever she does, she has far too much time on her hands. Enough time, to start working on a double life for herself.

She obviously tries to blame her behavior on her dissatisfaction with you, but, in truth, it probably has little to do with you. She has yet to see that. Or maybe deep down, she knows this, and that is why she refused to go to therapy or do anything that will help her marriage. It wouldn't be easy for her to face the ugly truth---and accept that she is the way she is.

One thing I am certain you should not do is ask her for all the little ugly details of her infidelities. You know in your heart what the truth is. Knowing the details of it all though...that would haunt you for a long time.

thank you.

our children are all now in school full time, have been for past three years. yes, she has too much time, i also believe, that has not been properly invested. The details…i sense they are unpleasant, but i feel i need to know what i am facing. I do admit that i am afraid to hear about them, but it also hurts to not know and allow my mind to run rampant. I don’t want the little ugly details…just the big ugly one.

i have since inquired about additional therapy sessions for family and for wife, but know that she needs to make the decision to attend. I also rescheduled consultation with family law attorney.

I feel for you so much. I've been on both sides my partner has cheated on me with multiple women and I am a frustrated and lonely house wife myself. I have even contemplated entering into an affair just to fill the growing emptiness and isolation.

I know what it's like for her to feel frustrated and neglected. But I imagine that with how much you love her, you guys could have worked it out before this if there was communication. No matter it's past though. It also really truly sounds to me like your wife has no intention of stopping this destructive and painful behavior. She doesn't even sound remorseful and that breaks my heart to hear because you deserve so much better.

I don't think it's foolish at all to think you can get over infidelity but it has to be a 2 way street. Maybe it is a simple case of she needs a wake up call that she can't get away with treating you like a doormat. Sexual thrill can make us feel invincible, like we have super powers. It makes us act stupid and do hurtful things even if we are only acting this way because we are hurt. It's no excuse. She needs to fight her way back into your trust and respect. Not you.

The way I cope with the pain is every time it pops into my mind I do not let myself go there. It is hard each time. It also feels like I am losing somehow...something. But I am winning my sanity and self esteem back.

I am here for you and you are in my prayers.

i’ve always valued my wife’s decision to be at home with children. She used to check in with each one of the children periodically at schools, had great dialogue with teachers, and volunteered on several committees. She was often first parent to sign up for field trips and supplemented resources when needed for special projects. She has been a great mom and i need her to remain so.

My wife has always enjoyed her space. I tried to encourage her to finish her schooling at local U and did make some attempts…she continues to work at it. I suggested she find a part time job or volunteer position so that she could be around adults. Between dropping and kids off from school, she has a good 5-6 hours to invest in herself; but, not in the manner she chose.

Last night she had to attend to some issues with her mom so was away from home for a few hours. After feeding, homework, and putting kids in bed, i found myself crying while washing dishes. When she arrived, she laid down in my daughter’s bed while i fell asleep in our bedroom. I have not been sleeping properly the last 4-5 months, but last night i fell exhausted. She crawled in our bed at about 5 am and wrapped my arms around her. While i wanted to just hold her, i struggled with my thoughts that she had just been in someone else’s arms just days before. My mind races over all the excuses of past four months that she used to leave the house. I am reminded of all the perfumes and clothes purchases of the past few months. I am reminded of her new found interest. I am reminded of the many times she put me down for being paranoid when in fact I was so right. I can’t stop thinking that she still continues to be with this other person. I am afraid to lean in closer as the scent of days before lingers in my mind. I find it hard to hold back from verbalizing my feelings, but refrained last night. I feel that without a sincere discussion and explanation, we can’t begin the healing process.

I eventually pulled away as i felt an emptiness and loneliness despite her only inches away.

Sweetheart,
I am only able to say I understand what you are saying. I lay in bed with my husband and wonder who he may have been talking to before he came in from work. My husband has been doing the same thing with females online and pictures sent to them and recieved. He was even caught talking with the next door neighbors wife and I mean affair wise, He claims that he didnt sleep with her so it was only through text and calls and he met her once for dinner but nothing happened. Im so upset at times that I dont know how to act. I also feel empty when I hold him or when he is 'trying' to show me he really does love me. but how can i believe him when he has done it before? How can I understand when he wont talk to me about it. He says I need to let it go and move on. HOW??? I am praying that you are able to get some relief in knowing there are those out there who understand what you are going through and are here to support you. Please dont blame yourself as it is not your fault. No matter the situation the person cheating and yes it is still cheating whether it is emotional or physical, has to take responsibility for there own actions. It is hard from your point to see it that way as i fully understand and I am working on this also. Keep your head up and remember there is support for you out there.

thank you. i am finding that writing down these feelings helps me think clearly as I am reminded that i am not alone. I am sorry that your husband doesn’t come clean either. Why do we have to wait until (and if) they are ready to talk? I do feel that i am at her mercy. Perhaps they really do think we will “deal with it” and it will go away.

As the days pass, i know that i can’t continue to absorb this as I have been doing for the past 4 months. I have to be dad-like for kids and myself. I don’t want to be at this emotional pass anymore. Do I simply start proceedings? Do I move out (despite feeling it is something she should do) despite not having finances to sustain 2 households? Do I just act as I don’t care?

I think that you put it best yourself, "I feel that without a sincere discussion and explanation, we can't begin the healing process." I don't have the answers for what you should do, but I think that at this point you have to do what's healthiest for you. Maybe it's even time she start looking for work.

Keepyourheadhigh, my heart goes out to you for all the pain you've endured & you've made a very wise choice in continuing counseling while protecting/providing/leading & teaching your children & doing your best to take care of yourself emotionally/physically. It is ashame that your wife will not seek guidance for herself but nonetheless she may one day. Am hopeful you consider an alternate for your children in time as they may need someone not so close to the situation to talk to later on & I'm sure they have alot of questions that need to be addressed otherwise children usually learn what they live in (coping skills) unless they have the right options/resources available to them.

One day if & when your wife looks back she may see some common similarities to her own past history & is maybe where she learned from BUT you can lead a horse to water etc, etc.......

We're here listening to you & stay as strong as you can, your pulling something positive out of a toxic situation in sharing with us & for that I'm grateful to you friend.

Take care of you.

April

In the course of the last few days I have gone back to previous posts and seen your support of others; thank you April…April 22.

Before I left to drop my son at school this morning, i told my wife that I loved her – we have been married for 15 years and dated previously for 2. I have tried everything that I know so far to reach her but now realize, after much feedback on this and other posts, that I can’t as long as she is not willing. All I can do is simply take the high road and just work on being an extraordinary human for my children and myself. Maybe she’ll catch the bug. There is always room to improve the spirit and extend tenderness to those around you.

I sat with my son outside his classroom this morning and he has been rather quiet this week. We held hands. When the bell rang, I embraced him. He walked through the door while other children ran past him. I now know that I have to be there for them in ways i have not been before… Wow, how fortunate I am to have three beautiful souls to guide and learn from.

Listen my wife did the same thing with the computer, when i caught her she said it is all bullshit. i am just having fun. i would never cheat on you. 6 months later she had a ongoing affair. so i dont care how much you love her she will cheat. and if you go on the spy store. com u can buy a syms card reader and actually read all the text messages. thats what i did and let me tell u you wouldnt beleive what was said. so brace yourself goood luck

thank you. I spent last few months agonizing trying to discover details. It really started to rot my soul and I started to neglect my children, work and household. In the end, what is the point? You only continue to hurt.

I am committed to healing my family and myself. Let me tell you how I have started. I am re-engaging with my children and self:

We had stopped having dinner together at home so I prepared dinner on Saturday in an effort to reestablish some of the healthy routines I had allowed to deteriorate. I forced my children to help…prepare table and serve food. My wife was not home, but we set a plate for her and daughter made name plates for all of us. We engaged in great dialogue about zombies that my 6 year old son started. The kids helped put away dishes.

We put away laundry together that evening. I had them bathe. I sat with my daughter for 30 minutes and combed her hair…titally forgot what a great opportunity to listen to her. I had them pick a movie for all of us to watch that eveving…they chose Wynn-Dixie. We all laid in our bed and fell asleep watching. My wife was too proud to join us when she finally got home. Her loss because waking up with my kids piled on one another is a beautiful feeling.

On Sunday morning, I woke them early and took them to church. I have to tell you that i have not gone to church in a long time. I needed and wanted my children to be surrounded by warm spirits this day. We had breakfast together following mass and I allowed them to lead conversation. Again, wife was out early that morning to join us.

When we arrived home, I started cleaning the yard and preparing for gardening. The kids helped me rake, clean out planters and water. Without warning, my wife showed up with plants from the garden center; while she did not help kids place plants in planters, I know she was watching and realizing what she is missing out on. I left several plants hoping that she follows through because their is no therapy like your hands in soil and the aromas of spring.

I later lit candles on the patio and spent a few hours reading to my son. When he fell asleep, I took him to his bed.

I have a long way to heal and keep the toxic thoughts from taking over my day. I don’t want to absorb the pain anymore. This is my start.

I am glad to hear that you are taking the high and right road here.....
Focusing on your children and thier needs are paramount to them having a good come out of a bad.

And I'm glad you made a choice to surround them in an enviornment that reminds them they are loved, regardless of what happens, and you are doing well, not to bother spending your valuable energy on trying to find out what has been happening to your wife....
Me, I wouldn't give her the time of day till she repents all she has done, and realises how she has harmed her family. Any excuse she comes up with or tries to cast blame towards you is all BS. plain and simple.

ron....."don't give her the time of day"......it resonated with me through my day yesterday. It is tough to tune someone out. Even tougher is that she remains in the house and I know that she has not stopped her affair.

Like others who are posting, I to would do better off if she moved out. As this continues to play out, i become less hopeful that she will resolve. I can't take the humiliation and pain anymore. Despite the love i have for my wife and would not do anything to intentionally hurt her --- because hurting her is hurting my children --- I have to do what is in best interest of my children and myself. Just last week, i would have never considered divorcing and thought that we could work through our differences. I would not have considered putting the house up for sale and removing my children from the place they know as "home." However, I should not be the one to leave the house or my children. Today, I would rather live in a studio apartment with my children and without the weight of her doings.

"May you walk in beauty" is a saying from the Navajo culture. It means that you don't say anything to another person unless it will create beauty in his or her life. I find myself repeating this phrase over and over lately....with very little to say.

I Have same problem with my husband and I am strugling wtih 3 years old, He always find woman from his work, after 12:00 her flirt and go with them, this is the 2nd one I caught, 1st one he lived with, because me and him don't talk to each other except phone, whenI come from work, he goes to work, When he come at 1 or 2 in the morning I go to work around morning 6:00am, he cheat me on day time and as well as night. I wanted to post my problem soon to get some help from good minded people. I waanted to get divorce I can say but it is hard, to put it in the action, My case is worse than yours don't worry, I am in the dark too waiting for sun raise.