I am just starting the healing process and thought I might be able to get some advice on one of these sights. I was with my boyfriend for 12 years. He always had a drug problem and so did I for awhile. I think I was getting high because I didn't want to deal with what was going on in our relationship. I have been clean for awhile. He would get clean for a couple of months and then get high again. This past December I decided to move to New Orleans were I am originally from and have all of my family except for my mom and brothers. My boyfriend had been clean for almost a year and we thought moving down here would be a good place to start over and try to have a normal life together. Everything was going really good. He got a job and was giving me the money for the bills. Well I started getting a little depressed. It is really hard for me to meet new people and make new friends. I was missing my best friend and her child. I was still cooking dinner, doing laundry, and cleaning the house but he started complaining because I didn't want that much to do with him. I tried to explain how I was feeling and thought he would understand. Well that didn't work he was used to me always being the strong one and him having the problems. So he said because I wouldn't have sex with him that he was going to the strip club. Which didn't really bother me but he came home high as a kite. I should have just packed up all of my stuff and left then, but he said it was a mistake and it wasn't going to keep doing it. His drug of choice was crack and I knew if he did it again it would just pick up where he left off a year ago. Okay before I write a book. I didn't leave and he kept getting high. About two months later he wanted to use my car to go get more drugs and I told him no that I was calling my dad to come get me. He grabbed my cell phone and smashed it on the ground. He started walking towards me so I reacted by putting my hands up and as soon as my hands touched his chest to push him away he punched me in eye. I went running out the door to the neighbors and called the police. I pressed charges. Well I ended up having to have surgery because he broke the bone under my eye. I have a restraining order against him. It all just came as a shock to me in 12years of being together he never laid a hand on me. I know this is for the best that it would have taken something dramatic to happen for me to leave and stop thinking that things could get better. I live with my dad now. It has been three weeks since this happened and it is now starting to hit me. Has anybody gone through something like this that could give me some advice or just lend me their ear to listen????
Hi gator_chic, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . I think you have done the right thing by getting out. No one deserves to be abused in any kind of way. You boyfriend is an addict and he is sick. He has to be willing to get help for himself. For yourself, have you gone to any NA http://www.na.org/ meetings for help and support for you? If not, then I suggest going to a meeting. You don't have to say anything. Make sure to listen for likenesses not the differences. Keep taking it one day at a time. Keep sharing with us here and letting us know how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
Hey Gator_chic, am glad you've chosen this site to share your story & I admire you for that. While your checking out the site Bluidkiti suggested please try & ask yourself a question too, Why would YOU choose this type of person to begin with in your life? The answer IS within you to find & learn, usually in ones past history, the way one is raised, genetic links, not having certain people in life to help guide us & teach us the tools/skills necessary to certain life lessons/situations. We're here when you feel like talking.
Take care of you.
April
p.s. I'm in MS. & moving from CA. did not make anything change or the grass any greener......