Trying to stay busy, but i keep getting glimpses of the good times (and memories in general) and it's making me crazy. I just want to move on and put this behind me.
Give you support my friend, hope you can through it all. God Bless
Thank you.. I accept the blessing. One thing this is doing though, is bringing back to God. So that's the good thing.
Matt333, focus on all of the blessings that have come out of the separation and divorce...even if you have to dig really deep and only find obscure things such as, never having to wait for the bathroom first thing in the morning, or not having boxes of girly products all over, or whatever it may be...sit down and write out a bunch of these....really focus on them, then feel the feelings of gratitude for them...then write down some more, and repeat...pretty soon you will find 1,000's of reasons to be grateful, and with that, more things to be grateful for will show up in your life!! :D Good luck to you!
@GAPCoaching
Thank you GAP, will give it a shot!
I don't know about God, i distrust the bible, but I do know that before you can be at peace with your divorce you have to mourn what you have lost. You have to grieve and accept your responsibility for what happened as she has to accept hers, she may feel she has no responsibility, but that's not on you. All you can do is work with yourself and admit your wrongs and grieve for the good and move on when you are ready, THAT is healty, stuffing it down and ignoring it is NOT. i' m a divorce pro, my parents divorces when iwas 3 my dad remarried then divorced again while i was junior in high school, I've been married and divorced twice myself and my last huband died of cancer, so i do have some experience with the whole concept. Trust Me, let the glimpses come, enjoy the happy ones, analyze the unhappy ones and try to understand both what you did wrong and what she did wrong, it always take two to break a marriage. You can and will move on, when you are ready and until then, your brain is going to throw these images at you radomly to MAKE you deal with it. I have supported you and we private message if you need or want.....I'm not prowling here, I am not interested in bonding and finding "love" over my dead husbands body.
@dark_and_twisty71 Sorry if that last sounded harsh but I just didn’t want yo or anyone to think I am looking for a man, i am celibate and am quite happy with the condition. forgive mfe for being so fierce.
@Matt333, I am not divorced yet but just being in a failing marriage is already hard. Though I do not know your story, i know you have been where we all are. I don't know how it is to be there yet. But we are here to help you and i learned from here that sharing and talking and listening to everyone's experience is really helpful. I learn so much everyday. Talking here and helping others makes me feel better as well. If there is anything that I can do or say... please do not hesitate. I might also find answers from you.
Hope the day gets lighter for you.
@KatrinaMarielle
@KatrinaMarielle
Katrina, I feel for you… and Im sorry you’re having to go through this.
Weird thing about my marriage is that everything was 90 percent good… unfortunately, she had some influences from friends and a life coach that forced a wedge between us… We didn’t even get a chance to talk it out.
Of course, I know I wasn’t angel, but I was at least willing to talk it out so we could try and fix it… but she didn’t even go there.
Ok… I’m just venting. It does help to talk it out.
Thank you for listening
Same situation for me. My marriage was good. I thought i had it made. I wasn't perfect but i wasn't bad. He did not want to even try. Or maybe he was trying and i did not see it because he is a.man of few words. I wanted him to say things he couldn't and maybe he did tey like he said. He said at some point... believe me i am trying... but i guess i was expecting for a big miracle.
@KatrinaMarielle sorry to hear about Katrina… ya, we can’t do much if the other one doesn’t want to talk.
Wish he had communicated the things that were bothering him instead of holding it in and saying everything is fine. He found someone to talk to and now they are dating. Looking to change things about myself that I don't like and move on with my life. Hard after being together 30 years. Married 23 years.
2 Hearts
@Healing59 sorry for what you are going through stbx did the same…he never wanted to discuss what he is feeling unti now…now his feelings are all I never loved you.
That is exactly what happened to us, maybe he found someone who is better listener than me... I don't know. He never really talked so I wonder why talk to her. Whatever that is... It was still his mistake. So he keeps on blaming it on me. I look at it all now... I am like. What did I do? I guess it was their way of getting out of the hook. Oh well.
ya, when someone is blaming the other wihtout looking at their own issue, I tend to think it's the person blaming that is the problem
After 15 years, he suddenly says "it's not fun anymore" - wow. Sucker punched.
1 Heart
Ouch... how does one recover from that.. sorry to hear Gail
I don't know...I haven't even grieved before. Not really... I am too ashamed to talk to anyone. It still hasn't hit me.
I have been left "high and dry" - and spinning...
So sorry Gail... I know this transition will be difficult, but keep your chin up and eyes forward. I gave myself 2 months to heal.. and I'm doing pretty ok... I go up and down a lot but lately I'm getting more ups then downs