I just joined this group and I really wanted to connect with other people who are going threw the same thing as me. I was diagnosed 3 months ago.
about 3 months ago and have been dealing with it in my own way. Im 22 years old, married, with a little girl who will be 1 years old the 14th of december. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed with the fear of this situation. I just want to be a good mother and a good wife, get my house work done and have everything in its place as it was b4 this. And that's what really gets me. I feel like I have to be the strongest person ever because if i'm not then im letting my daughter down when only i want to do everything for her and be there for here. I know she is very young and wont remember this but i still want to be super woman in her eyes. I want to be the wife my husband likes to come home to and he will have dinner ready on the table again but i cant do that all the time and it just drives me crazy. this cancer drives me crazy. i just want to be healthy. will i ever be healthy, and be able to live with out the fear of this cancer, even when its not around anymore. I know i'm thinking way ahead but thats how my mind works. Please someone wiser than me give me some advice because i really need it.
I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I understand what you mean about wanting to be superwoman in the eyes of your daughter. My husband was diagnosed in June. Two days before our second son was born. It was a living nightmare. Now that we're close to ending our journey with this, I'm hoping that I can offer you a little piece of advice.
The best way for you to be the best mother and wife you can be is to take care of yourself. From our experience, there are going to be days you're going to feel good and days that you won't. Take advantage of those good days and spend some real quality time with your husband and daughter. Take it easy when you need to. It won't do your family any good if you run yourself in to the ground and end up having to be hopitalized.
As far as the fear side of things goes, I don't know that that will ever completely go away. I take comfort in the fact that we have a wonderful medical team and they're going to be monitoring my husband closely for quite some time after his last treatment on December 17th. It's always good to discuss things and get your feelings out there.
Iam a 15 yr cancer servivor like you I was only married for 4 yrs I had a son from a previous relationship he was 11yrs old so I was very scared when they diagnoised me with stage 3b Hodgskins I was scared but determined I was going to win, there was days I wasnt able to be the mom I wanted to be or the wife for that fact but on the days I could be that person I shinned at it. So when you can let it shine when you can and whn you cant just rest you body heals when resting. The housework will still be there. Iam sure your hubby is helping out I know its not the same but its helpful. The answer to being healthly yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel just hang in there. About the fear of it comming back it is always in the back of your mind. When I have my checkups now i dont tell anyone cause they all hold their breath. Today my son is 31 yrs and has a family of his own. I still married to the same guy that took alot of bull from me when I was sick 21 yrs so there is hope. Stand Strong
I can relate with how you are feeling right now. I was diagnosed about 3 months ago as well (Stage 4a HL) and have been dealing with a lot of the same concerns that you have mentioned. I have a 14 year old daughter, a 6 year old daughter, and a 1 year old son. It was pretty difficult to sit them down and explain that Dad was going to be feeling sick for awhile.
The best advice I can offer is to take care of yourself. Your family needs you, but they need you to be healthy first. Do what you can, when you can, but don't hesitate to take some time to rest when your body is telling you that is what it needs.
As far as the future goes, the day will come when you will be healthy again. Just stay strong and take care of yourself. I'm guessing that I will always have the fear of relapse once my ordeal is over, but I'll take that over having to deal with active HL any day.