*TW* Hi, this is my first time sharing online , about this

Hi, this is my first time sharing online , about this . In middle school my brother molested me, I’m about to be 25 years old . I still have dreams about that night , I also have dreams of him doing things to me that he’s never done before . I had a dream I was in the shower and he pulled the curtain down and I was screaming for my mom , I couldn’t wake up. I’ve been having all these different but same horrible dreams ever since he molested me , they happen even when I’m not thinking about him doing it to me at all. I’m fine with my brother , we’re okay he’s not that person anymore . But I can’t forgive him because I don’t want to accept what happened to me and I don’t want to say I’m a victim. I just want these dreams to stop , I’m not comfortable with any man alone . I spent 1 day with my dad just us , a few days later I have a dream of him walking into the bathroom unbuckling his pants and I’m trying to scream for my mom again but I couldn’t scream . Why are these dreams happening if I don’t think about what my brother did to me ?

It's trauma related. SA victims usually have dreams about being s*xually assaulted by peers. Do you have PTSD? If so, have you thought of seeing a counselor?

@KidDJ I’m not sure if I have ptsd … I do get anxiety and I’m not comfortable being with any male alone. I don’t know what type of counselor I can speak to . Do you have any resources?

Agree you need to talk to a counselor. Sexual abuse can have long and hard to understand consequences for the victim.

I'm sorry you went thru this. But a counselor can help you understand some of what you are feeling and find healthy ways to manage those things and deal with day to day situaitons.

@jamiemaddrox2020 thank you!

Hello first time posting but this post compelled me to respond. I have suffered with this for over 30 years. First of all I agree with everyone that recommended seeing a therapist. I just recently found help myself after this long. To get back to it .nightmares are the most miserable part of this type of trauma. Medications help however I am not one for those. In my trials they helped. The best thing I ha e learned is to let it out however to who you feel most comfortable. Alternate thinking can help. I really hope this helps. I know how this can be.

1 Heart

@Bigdsyl thank you so much for your response , I really appreciate it .