this is going to be a bit long. For the past 4 months I have noticed that my husband had been making excuse after excuse to come home late, according to him he was working late, or had to run errands etc, etc, we were also in the middle of moving into our new home, he came up with numerous excuses to go to the house and fix it up (all of this after work)then we finally moved into the house, i thought his coming home late would stop but it did not, same excuse after excuse. then i decide to check his email accounts and I found emails, nothing major, just him sharing these links about either tarot and stuff like that with this female from work. I also found out that one night when he told me he was out with the boys he was actually at a club where she was celebrating her birthday. i was heartbroken and i comfronted him about it. He told me that nothing was going on with thsi girl and that they would only talk on the phone, that they were only friends and such, and he told me that he was going to stop all ties to her etc etc. ok so we have been doing much better ever since, i recognized that i was also emotionally unavailable for him for quite some time.
the problem is that although I have no proof, I feel as if he cheated, I am going through the same changes, same angry periods, I just want to know everything about what went on. One minute I think to myself "it was only a friendship,he is not the cheating kind" and then the next minute I think "Omg, he is probably hiding something, all those times he was late" and my heart breaks all over again. I feel so silly going trhough so much emotional turmoil over something that has not been proven, people say trust your instincts, but my instincts tell me different stories. I just do not know what I can do to make myself feel better. He did lie about where he was that night and I keep wondering what else has he lied about. I need help