Up late popping and cracking, ears ringing, worried about court in the morning suing my landlord. Ongoing battle, harder on me than him. Lots of undue stress on my body. Would have taken something around ten if I thought I could have gotten up and been coherent for court in the morning. Have not slept well in nearly a week now. Argh I have to get some of this stress and frustration out! I feel like my voice is too small for the courts to listen. Court is in six hours and I am afraid if I go to sleep I will fall into a depressed state, and not have the will to get ready, and go to court. I have phys therapy at 2:30 this afternoon as well, then I can sleep, well, hopefully sleep. Trying to talk myself into going to court. Trying to mentally prepare myself for battle.
i know things can be really hard when you have to go to court because you are scared. once court is over maybe you can relax and get some sleep. your probably having alot of anxiety and your mind cant shut down, believe me i know how that is i do this quite often. ill be fine all day and then bam at bed time i am so tired but my mind is racing and i cant go to sleep. i would go to court because you never know the outcome of what is going to happen. the judge has to go by laws so i am sure everything will be ok. please let me know how you are doing when you get a chance and i would go back to bed when you get the chance cuz im sure your exhausted.
Thank you so much Ashley! I was crying at 5am and was able to phone a friend. Talked until he had to get ready for work, and it helped. 7am passed out from sheer exhaustion. Other friend at court for me at 8:30. Today was the landlords, plus one of his workers chance to defend a protection order against repeat violence. I called the clerks office to let them know I was physically unable to attend court today. The police have been to my house seven or ten times so far this year, and even told the landlord they are not coming out anymore cuase it is civil. He has been given written warnings by code enforcement, and has yet to remedy the situation. He tried to force me out, but I blocked it with notices of non-compliance sent by certified mail. So intimidation has not worked, and now he has to make arrangements to fix the property. I am coping, and I thank you so much for the well wishes. I try not to rely so much on sedative hypnotics, and try to incorporate some of the relaxation techniques they showed me in the hospital, but sometimes...You got to shut down the racing mind to sleep. Thanks, John
ya i know the whole thing on trying not to use sedatives. im glad that u are fighting for ur rights. sometimes it can be hard let me know how it goes wishin u luck
Hey, I tried really hard today. mentally and physically could not make it to court. passed out from sheer exhaustion about 7am, a friend went to court for me and called me at 8:30, then at 9:30. Another friend i talked to at 5am called about 1pm to check on me. I got maybe an hour sleep between 11A and 1pm, then I got up, and worked on my van some. Another friend came over about 7pm after I got done working on my van, and we went to dinner, then he visited with me for a couple hours. he was concerned about my popping and cracking, and the muscle spasms which have been more lately. I was able to make a doctors app on Tuesday while up this morning to get another epidural, so I only have four more days to hack it out. Well, with lots of support of course! I see you have high support points. Thanks for helping out so many! So you know about trying not to use sedatives too, we then we can relate. I want to sleep, need to sleep, wish sometimes I just could. without drugs, naturally. that would be nice. a long deep peaceful natural sleep, maybe 8 to 10 hours. sigh... thanks, john
thats wonderful that you have so many friends that can help you and support you. i love to help people on here.i know what you mean about 8 to 10 hours sleep peacefully. it would be so nice to be able to sleep normal again. one thing i hated about some sedatives is they would make me tired the next day so i felt like i couldnt win for losing. sure i would sleep like a baby at night but the next day i was still feeling the after effects. i used to be the type of person that would go to bed early and get good rest now i stay up late hoping that it will make me tired where i can sleep good. ya right lol. anyways glad to be of some kind of help :)
I wish I had about, oh, say five more good friends that would accept a call at all hours of the night. Drive from Tampa (like 60+ miles round trip) to go out to Arbys, and spend a few hours with me. Pay for me round trip to fly to visit them so I was not home alone for the holidays, or special events. I do cherish my few close friends. Still get lonely though. Sigh... Yeah, those darn sedative hypnotics sometimes linger on through another day. Couple with low mood, slight feelings of being defeated, and constant pain just walking around makes staying in bed all the easier. So I try to use the "pass out from exhaustion" method, founded, and pioneered by myself, to get some total rem sleep. Good for about 1 to 2 hours several times a day unless I take something. Not a very good plan, but darn if it is not a plan none the less. Like you said, sometimes it feels like we can't win for losing. Seems the side effects are even with what the darn things are supposed to be helping us with. Jagged little pill. Yes you are some kind of help. That's cool.
sometimes i take a nap during the day because i will be so tired that i cant help but fall asleep. ill say to myself oh im just going to rest my eyes and then i am asleep before i know it. i think that the insomnia has gotten worse since i have been on antidepressants.ive always been this way but i feel like a kid sometimes when there parents say go to bed and i could jump up and down on the bed lol.
16 hours sleep in the past 7 days. Not 'normal' for me, but not bad either. Today feels like a 'zombie state' day. I want to close my eyes now, and most of the time they will not stay close. I wanted to finish my van today, so I have the anxiety that if I take a nap, I will sleep longer than I want too, and then become more depressed which will zap more energy out of me hence the van will not get worked on today. I will feel worse than if i just stayed up, and worked on it, but I do not feel the energy like I did yesterday. I think maybe finish my bottle of water, play two games bejeweled, then reassess from there. Hopefully still feel like taking a nap. Hopefully nap will be normal, not long, or too short, and I will have the energy to finish the van today. ARGH! Tuesday night, come on Tuesday night! I get an epidural, then I will take something, and sleep. I have not noticed any difference in my insomnia since taking antidepressants. Mostly I feel such a burden of guilt that I wait too long in the wee hours of the am to take a sedative, then I feel if I take it, I will sleep more than I want the next day. Leads to more anxiety thinking about the possibility of wasting another day, so I stay up. If my back or neck is in extreme pain, that keeps me from getting comfortable and falling asleep. Jumping up and down on the bed, well, in my mind, I know what you mean though. "Go to sleep", "I am not tired", "can't I go to the park instead", "it is 3am, it is time to go to sleep", time for you maybe, time for most people maybe, but we are different.
have you thought about setting an alarm clock to keep you from oversleeping. that way you can set it for how ever long you want to take a nap. i just took a nap today and i got up and cleaned house because i felt more rested. i also took a vicodin though because i just got a tooth pulled and part of it is still in my jaw because the dentist accidently broke it while pulling it. so i have that i am struggling with plus my gums are swollen because the wisdom tooth is coming in. normally if a dr prescribes me a pain killer for something i dont even take half the bottle and then i throw it out. this time i took all of it i am hurting so bad. i sprained my back a couple of years ago while at work and i was put on tramadol and i didnt even take half the medicine i threw most of it out. so ya to say the least im hurting so i took my last one and i was off to sleep of course i wasnt getting a good nap because my phone was ringing and you know the usual everyone and their grandma seems to wanna pesture you when you do decide to take a nap. grrr. yesterday i went to rest my eyes and i drifted off and then i bout jumped off the couch cuz someone was knocking on the door. im like gooooooooooooooo away. of course i got up and answered it that would be rude not to but it just seems like you cant get a nap for nothing. i was thinking today that i will go to my bed because during nap time i sleep better and wont care if the phone rings or wont hear it lol. i know what you mean about getting upset when you dont get nothing done because of it because it feels like the day has wasted away and nothing got done. i have been struggling with that here lately alot more so because i have just got my asthma under control and then i have had 2 teeth pulled in a month so more trama more trama.
hey Ashley, Oh my goodness no I never set the alarm clock unless i really have to be somewhere. Naps are cherished, but I never turn my phones off cause i got friends in my same boat, or at least tied along side weathering same storms that call me 24/7. Argh I got that knock on the door Thursday, and was like gooooo away too! Was the sheriff though, so I answered. Argh this court drama is taking a toll on me. trade ya four courtroom dramas for two teeth being pulled...and half the drugs for the pain, but you can double what I take for the anxiety. Hmmm, somehow that sounds twisted. So we try to tough it out, stronger than most, but still have our point of giving into the pain killers, or the sleep meds. It is the heavy stuff i have conscious issues with. Listening to "Anna Nalick - Breath" in the back ground. Will put in "Paint the sky with stars", and try to relax. Somehow i am suddenly ok with taking an easy day. Hmm, that is rare. Hope you get a nap too, or at least some relaxation. Check back in later. Cheers, John
not to be mean but no thank you. you have more going on then i do. i wanna take another nap and probably will here in a bit since my nap wasnt as good as it was supposed to be. im surprised there arent more people on here joining this conversation i know we cant be the only ones with insomnia in this world lol.
Hey Ashley, did not think it would fly with the trade and all. Golly I have been up since yesterday, and only had a tiny bit of rice and chicken to eat. Got to equalize again soon or I am heading into danger central. Insomnia! You evil creature. Leave me alone for one day please, I need to rest safely, comfortably, soundly. Tuesday. I can handle the ears ringing, and the jumps from my muscle twitches, and even a light headache, but when I get lots of pain too, oh it is hard to get comfortable and fall asleep without some jagged little pills. I am going to try and get some zzz's, but if all I do is relax, then that will be cool too. I hope you had a great Saturday, and this message finds you in good spirits. John
ya last week my eye was twitching all day every day. i hate when my eye twitches especially if im in public cuz i think oh crap someone is going to think im on drugs cuz im twitchin. im not but it is funny how your body spasms from not getting proper rest. hope your having a good day as well and catch some zzzz's.
I did get some zzz's, and it felt great! I even almost feel like eating something.
Yes the eye twitches I get those also. I know what ya mean about how you feel in public someone may see it and what they would think. My friend and I went to Arby's Friday, and my left arm was jumping, I caught a lady staring, and I got a tad embarrassed. My friend helped me get some grocery's, and get out of the house for awhile, plus we worked on my van.
So nervous about my two doctors apps on Tuesday. Wish they still came to the house!
Hey, I hope ur having a great day too!
yes im having a great day thanks for asking. i got my entire house cleaned. it really needed. i havent been getting a whole lot of the nitty gritty done like i usually do so it was nice getting caught back up. some people are rude about staring. i hate when they do that. i purposely try not to look at people in public when something is going on because i dont like it being done to me.