Urge to email

hi everyone,

I have a horrible urge to email the married guy, i miss him. I know its a bad idea, and i could really use some re enforcement!



Hi Heather, absolutely don't do it. You have come so far that you don't need to take steps back. I can only recommend this because I am actually not only talking the talk but walking the walk. I ran into an ex a few days ago who told me that he was separated when we met. I eventually found out that he was still living with his wife and two children and nowhere near or around separation, let alone divorce. I was disgusted and mortified. The thought that he would see me and go back to his family sickened me. I put myself in his wife's shoes and thought; how would I feel if that was me. When I ran into him, all of my feelings for him came flooding in, he is someone who I really fell for so hard. He asked me to get together to catch-up. I had to cut him off at the pass and let him know that I would never see him while he is married out of respect to his wife and children.

If you focus on his wife and children [if he has any] then you will not want to contact him. Also, you deserve to be with a man who is totally available to be with you and only you. I know that you will have that but you have to keep your path clear from this situation.

Please keep sharing. I am here to support you in any way that I can.

Thanks puppydoglvr!

your post is just what i needed to hear. i'm sorry to hear about you situation. These men need to either get counseling or leave their wives! I will certainly keep his wife's feelings in perspective. I know if that was me i would be devastated.

Thank you again :)


Of course Heather. Trust me, I know that it's not easy at all, and I totally understand those urges to make contact. But all that I continually tell myself is that I have come this far and I don't want to be dragged backwards by getting into that scenario. The only thing that would come of it is heartache and unnecessarily so...I would just be bringing it upon myself. There's no need for us to go there. These men are so selfish...they want their cake and they want to eat it too. And, if they're doing it to their wives, what makes us think they wouldn't do the same to us.

Let's keep one another strong...I am always here for you.

i am here for you as well :)

This group has really helped me, and i would like to help if i can too.

You are absolutely right when you say they want their cake and eat it too. unbelieveable!

thank you so much Heather! you have been such a huge blessing for me and this site.

No! It's just an urge. It will go away. The aftermath won't be worth it. Stay strong and focus on something else until your mind is free of him.

xo, July