I'm finding that a lot of people i thought were "close friends" and would SMOTHER me with support, aren't there. I know a lot of people haven't been in these "situations" before- but I never dreamed that some of my best friends would be so clueless about my life, or seeming not to care. I have strangers that know more about my life right now than them....it's weird. What do I do? I don't want to throw a pity party, or constantly call/text/email them, why is it that when something like this happens not only does your body/life change....friends change.....anyone else dealing with this?
Hey, I know exactly what you mean!!
If you want you can check out my earlier post known as 'Fair-Weathered Friends (myth proven)'. It might help but more importantly the comments from others that follow are priceless. It seems heaps of people with cancer that have spent their whole lives surrounding themselves with beautiful friends and when they get cancer (or something like), the gold doesn't glitter quite as much.
Roughly prasied, their are many areas that friends can be classified in
- those that are okay and try a help (but come off as annoying, bless them)
- those that think this tragedy is happening to them (ie "why has MY best friend been struck with cancer?", "what happens in MY life if I lose my best friend?")
- and those that I think you are afflicted with, the ones that "vanish". When you make time inbetween oncology appointments and PICC line flushes to see them, but they are simply too busy having their hair styled and shopping for groceries.
Of course you don't want to msg them, and what do you say- update them on how you're going. It feels way too selfish. That's why this site is good, we never tire of hearing infact that's why we're all here.
Hopefully you find even one friend in this that can make up for the others. In the meantime, cancer scares the hell out of most people and in the end I think their survival takes over and they remove themselves from the situation. I think this is what's happening.
Let us know. Love your new friend Annie.
Thanks Annie- I def. knew I wasn't the only one feeling like this. You're balancing so much already, and to add friends and what they think, do or don't do, oy it's a lot! I am very blessed to have some people that are ALWAYS there...but not so surprisingly they're my parents friends, or have gone through something like this. I just hope to show my friends that something like this CAN be ok- because not to be a downer, but I highly doubt I'll be the only one in their lives affected by a disease/tragedy sometime in their life. I have been through it before, probably why I can handle it the way a do. It's so many emotions! ah!
xoxo
Hey, thanks for the support group membership and cute profile photo. What is your treatment plan (chemo, amount, length??) and where abouts are you in it??
Any friends proved you wrong yet and come to their senses or are they still "gone"??
Love Annie