Was just looking on meetup.com for the 900th time in the pas

Was just looking on meetup.com for the 900th time in the past few years, or whenever it was i found out about the website. Im constantly trying to find ways to meet friends but dont end up going anywhere. Theres always an issue, always a problem, part of its in my head, part of it is the people id have nothing in common with. Thats not negative thinking but just the reality of it. I just genuinely dont click with many people and sincerely like even less. Thats no offense to anybody here im just being honest.And its not even because i want to not like people its because most of them end up being so freaking selfish or just plain insane, its very tiring after a while. Because as i was telling somebody in a pm a few minutes ago ive had so many bad experiences with people that its hard to just chalk it up to bad luck and keep on keeping on. But i still do despite everything. I keep living, even finding small bits of happiness in my solitude. Latest example isnt even to do with me but with my elderly mother, my step dad who was 75 passed away this past monday and now his kids basically flipped their behavior around and arent worried about my mama at all but only about the money and STUFF theyll get from their dad. Whereas when their dad was alive it was like oh we love you so much were your family too now were gonna take care of you etc etc but since he died they dissapeared. I dont know how to meet people, i look kinda weird due to an accident i had when i was 27 and weight gain from sitting around the house so much being stuck here, so if i try talking to anybody i dont get normal acknowledgement like most people so i have to find something where the people really really have things in common with me to look past all that to give me a chance to even talk to me. I know too part of it is because im so nervous if i can get past my crazy fears and manage to talk to people that it doesnt matter i scare them away with that too. Live in south carolina and i swear this has to be the most dead end state ever for having any sort of social life unless u like to hunt fish or stay high and drunk pretty much or oh yeah work on cars and watch sports. Those are pretty much your choices as a guy. And theres nothing really wrong with that if you enjoy that but its not really my thing, not my jam. I have been through about 4 or 5 web sites in the past year for loneliness that only ended up making me feel more lonely because then id be dwelling on it and not myself and that makes people not want to talk to you too it pushes people away. But then if youre sitting around just being yourself in my case that means not leaving my house no chance to meet anybody and im getting older too currently forty, even without an anxiety disorder its genuinely hard to make friends at this age. So i end up giving up a lot until i cant take it anymore then ill make a post somewhere normally on this website, then ill get a response that says oh i know exactly how you feel i get it i really do. But then i never hear from them again so that doesnt really help. The internet is easy for me so i use it as a crutch and get just enough encouragement from people i meet on it to believe theres hope then something bad will happen. Mostly im just tired of dealing with this and would like a normal life again.
Even tried posting on craigs list cant even find a serial killer, i know thats fishing in the bottom of the barrel anyway but theres no other sites to meet local people except meetup or dating sites and im married so not looking for dating. Theres nothing at all to do around the town i live just really out of ideas, and now im having to go over everyday and take care of my mother and i dont mean all of this to sound like complaining but its just tiring and frustrating and soulrending when its gone on for so many years with no sign of any relief on the horizon. Im thankful for my health, my family and the good things i do have in my life i just wish i had more in common with the average human being besides having red blood and some skin cells.

2 Hearts

I'm doubtful about the sites meant to help one meet people. You can never be sure who you're talking to. It's easy on the internet to only put out what you want others to see; too easy to misrepresent oneself. I also don't get on well with most people. I'm kind, I share things about myself, but keep others at arms' length except for 1-2 people at any given time. I've been happier that way. If you really do want to meet other people, then you're going to have to actually physically go out. Enroll in something where you are likely to meet people with similar interests. I joined a chorus. Some people start a yoga class or take up pottery or something like that. Depends on your interests. Hope that helps. Hugs.

1 Heart

@AnaLeigh thats what meetup is so you can physically meet people. And yeah i know you have to physically go out im just in such a bad way with the whole people thing anymore i just dont even know where to start, and whether im coming or going. Im trying to work on being more thankful for what i have and not complain too, jsut trying to focus on what i do have instead of what i dont but its hard when you feel lonely a good portion of the time. And youre definitely right about the internet its a mixed bag you never know what youre going to get.

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@zero_theory What things do you enjoy doing?

Sounds like you need a change of scene. Can you go on a holiday with your mum or one of your family members. I don't think you're not meeting people because you feel different. I just think it's got a lot harder to meet decent people these days...no matter who you are!:) there are a lot of us here in the same boat.

@zero_theory. I completely know how you feel in some regards. Most of my life, I had always been a social person. I enjoyed meeting new people and going out to try new things. But now that I am in my 40s, life is not at all what I thought it would be. I always thought I'd be married and have my own family by now. I've dated quite a bit and have had my fair share of failed and interesting relationships. I am an extremely nurturing and giving person. I realize now that I've given to all the wrong people. I believed in love and falling in love with my best friend. The few people that I thought I'd grow old with have disappointed me and now I am here. I've tried to put myself out there but friendships are not what they used to be. The last 3 friendships that I thought I was building a close bond with have burned me. I now have zero desire to make new friends and keep everyone at an arm's distance. The family bonds I used to have have now disintegrated. I am not close to my sister, thought I wish I was. She has a boy and a girl that I absolutely adore but I believe because of my relationship with her, she tends to withhold them from me. I have spent the last 3 yrs with a man who I thought I was going to grow up with. He has disappointed me over and over and now I need to learn to let go for good. My relationship with my mom has just gotten good over the past few years. I was regarded as the black sheep/rebel all my life growing up. I was not a bad kid but I was definitely not her model child. I like you, try so hard to stay positive but it's really hard when you are repeatedly disappointed. I understand the apprehension about going to meet ups. I live in a big town and it's even hard here. Big hugs to you. I am here if you want to talk more. Sometimes that is all we need.