Was just out with my wife and one of my daughters at an end of the year soccer party. I did well, no rabbit holes. I got to looking around however at the couples there and thinking. The odd thing is that I wasn't thinking look how happy they are while I'm not. I was thinking, I wonder what dark secret she's hiding from him, I wonder what terrible truth are they hiding behind their smiles? I was doing the same thing making small talk about getting the kids together and running marathons etc. I hope I am not going to be a cynic for the rest of my life.
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My wife says the same thing to me. But, if you guys keep heading in the right direction, you will eventually ask yourself "I bet they wish they were as close as we are now." Try to stay focused on the positive and remember to keep the communication flowing. I wish you guys luck!
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@shortstack That’s a good way to look at it. At least we are in the know and can be honestly connected.
Funny, i was thinking the same thing about an upcoming social event with a few of our couple-friends. What don't were know that's weighing them down? Is it d heavy as what we've got? Hope not. (And hope we're not forget cynics.)
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I have the same thought about all couple i see/meet too. I think it's normal after being betrayed..
Yes, I have those same thoughts. Before this happened I did not know the stats, actually I never even thought about infidelity. Then I find out it is as high as 50% . Now that I see it happen to me I do look around and think who else it happened to. We have a couple as casual friends and about 2 years ago they renewed their vows, just before that he got sick and lost a bunch of weight. I then find out that it is common for infidelity couples to renew vows and now we think they may have suffered from infidelity by the wife.
An even worse thing for me is that when I found out I was distraught. I called my three kids, two came home right away and they were very upset too. They reached out to their friends for support. (we talking 17 and 21). So now four or five other kids know, some of them of kids of very close friends of ours. I am confident a two or more of our close friends heard something but likely nothing concrete. I am very conscious of this when I see them, I hate that.
@jchere I understand. My children are still very young, the oldest is 13 and the youngest 3. I have decided this is something they will never know, regardless of my marriage working out. They do not deserve to have their mother diminished in their eyes, and she doesn’t deserve that either. We have a few friends that know and we have at least one couple friends that have been through it. It is a sad club to be a member of.