Watched 20/20 last night about this woman named Shannan Watt

Watched 20/20 last night about this woman named Shannan Watts. Her husband was supposedly a narcissist. He was having an affair and wanted to restart his life. He killed his family. It brought up some thoughts I used to have about my ex when he left with his mistress. She was an attorney for our city and he is a cop. They did such stupid stuff and thought they wouldn’t get caught. They tried to cover up conversations with apps. I was never skilled that much in electronics, but it was super easy for me to find. They both live in this weird sense of reality. My mom and I saw the bizarre hate he had for me that had no foundation. We talked about how he could possibly try to kill me to take our son and run off as the poor poor widower. He had signed a post nup to stop having affairs or else he would loose everything. He did. He blames me sooooooooooooo much for his mistakes. If he had left without an affair, it would have been a standard Texas divorce. When I told my close friends that there was a part of me that thought he would try to kill me, the said surely not. I wouldn’t put anything past a narcissist no matter their position!

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@Red Southern Bell You know friends and family of Watts probably thought he'd never kill his family. They were probably shocked when he was arrested. DO NOT let your guard down. Narcs are psychopaths and a narc that hasn't killed someone is just one that hasn't done it yet. They're all capable of it, much more than the general population. Most of us would never think of killing someone, but a narc believes their life is more important than anyone else and has no hesitation about eliminating anything in the way of their happiness.
My ex-narc didn't try to shoot or stab me, but he tried to destroy me by sucking out my personality, my soul. He wanted to destroy me and he almost did. He was empowered by putting me down and making me feel like I was nothing. Narcs thrive on making us feel worthless.
Narcs are volatile and their behavior can't be predicted. It's better to seem a little dramatic and stay alive than to say it won't happen and end up dead. Please stay safe!

@GirlKitty
Fortunately, he messes with me less and less after he has had two kids. He turned back into split personalities since he found out that I am pregnant. It’s been 5 years. I don’t think he would try to kill me now. I was afraid of that while we were divorcing. I know that he would be the most obvious culprit, but he is so narcissistic ! I would think that there was a pretty strong likelihood that he would have killed me.
Cheaters and NPD are possible killers with their affairs. My ex gave me cervical cancer from his affairs. It felt like being raped.
I do want to spread hope though. I am truly truly blessed! I am in a supportive and loving marriage. I wish I had my son full time, but it is what it is. I have an amazing new home and a little girl bouncing around in my tummy as I type this message. My life has had another chapter that is so much better than the ones that came before!

There is no question that these involved in affairs lose their sense of reality. It’s part of the reason I felt I have to stay away from our house, even though I didn’t cause this, because of how twisted he acts. I found out he’s trying to mix me from the “household” though we are still married to get higher state benefits since he’s been jobless since May (though he’s prob working under the table). I confronted him about it on the phone and he just SCREAMED and yelled at me - “if you screw up my benefits, so help me!” You’re benefits? You mean the fraudulent benefits you want by lying about me? And then asking me to pay half the mortgage? No. But all that to say is, no, you can never be too careful.

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Red Southern Bell, I totally agree with you on that part of you can't put anything past a narcissistic. I don't put anything past the one I'm currently with. I've learned that I can't. That's what makes everything so tough, and in all truth, I find it to be very unfair to us. We deserve to be safe at all costs, and it's wrong that these narcs have the power to put us in this kind of situation.

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@LightOfGold
I don’t wish him death out of revenge. That feeling is gone. I do wish him an early death so that he would leave me alone. Especially after I found out he gave me cervical cancer. I think that I would feel safer. The PTSD makes my sensory system feel like there is always going to be some other attack. He is a smoker, overweight, a cop, and at high risk for health issues. I can only hope.

Thank you for this very insightful information. I thought it was just my ex who was living in make believe since the adultress he left me to be with. When we were together he was caring, loving, attentive man. Since the adultress he has changed drastically into something else. Selfish, pointing the finger at me for all that is going wrong in our relationship, indifferent, shutting me out, acting like I did not support him when he was down, depressed and alone. All this happens when the adultress shows up. He can't or won't see that. Yet when the adultress leaves to run back to her husband he comes calling. The most recent occurrence feels like the straw that broke the camel's back. He was confronted with this because I am tired of it. His solution was to go running back to it and being critical towards me. After all I have done for him and time being there for him when he had no one else. I most definitely won't forget it this time.

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My narc ex is abusive but, like so many of them, convinced the court he wasn't. I have nightmares that I'm going to get a call that one if my kids is hurt while he has them for his time. BTW therapist told me about a book. Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists. I got it for my teenagers. Warned them that when he can't focus his tirades on me, he'll switch to one of them.

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@Red Southern Bell I feel like how you do. I still think my narc is going to kill me one of these days. I’m watching the show on demand. The mom from Connecticut was mentioned and I have told everyone that her story is exactly like mine. I still feel that when my narc has no more options in court he will finally flip and I think I’m truly in danger! My narc hurt animals so I feel that speaks volumes!

1 Heart

@triplen
I think I flat out told my friends that if something happened to me…look at him. Have you spoken with a women’s shelter for counseling? This type of abuse is something to take seriously. I mean it!

Dang you guys that scary stuff.

They truly are!

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