Well. i just got the less than good news that i am now oficially infected with herpes...im trying to get a hold of the girl ive been sleeping with so I can terrify her with the news...the worst case scenario is i infected her, the best case scenario is she doesnt have it, but since we work together every one i work with is going to know...this is an absolute complete nightmare, i have no clue how to deal with this...i already have money problems, alcohol dependency problems and near crippling depression...I know im not the only one who has been through this but i really dont feel like i have the strength to take this, absolutely frozen
You're deffintly not alone. Just think of this whole ordeal as a bump in the road and it will get better. Don't worry about her unless you really have to, try and save yourself from more stress, it's easier said than done of course but try and keep your chin up! I'm going thru a tough ordeal myself and it's driving me up the wall. The social stigma is the worst part about having herpes. But educate yourself on the matter and her as well. This support group has deffintly helped a lot as well. Best of luck!!
@Shootingstar11 thank you for the words…im in complete shock
@jaygrif finding out is the hardest part, I was in such shock too.. I thought it was depressing to go thru a break up, but this is a million times worse. I found out from the girl he had recently slept with and he's still in denial and sleeping around. she got an outbreak right away, but for myself it took months to kick in.. My words of advice is to talk to people about it because keeping it all bottled up will destroy you, I go thru fits of depression every now and then it's tough to stay positive but you have to try! I'm still pretty new to this, but you are so not alone. Remember 1 in 5 people carry the virus and 80% don't get symptoms only 20% have symptoms!
i really cant stand the idea that I might have given it to someone, putting them through that awful time waithing for the bloodwork to come back...i feel like an absolute scum right now....its crazy to think im stuck with this for the rest of my life...sorry about your break up, cant believe he would be reckless about putting people through this
I cant stand the thought of passing it on either, I'm kinda going thru that as well, a few nights ago I was really drunk and this guy wanted to sleep with me but I said no, I said no it everything but one thing led to another and it was just a brief moment of foreplay, I felt uncomfortable so I told him to stop but he wouldn't. I didn't sleep with him of course but the next morning I noticed a small outbreak. I have awful luck to begin with and I'm hoping I somehow didn't pass it on to him. I don't know if it works like that but it's been worrying me sick for a few days now. I would die if I gave it to someone else. I wouldn't want them to go thru what I'm going thru, it's changed my whole outlook on life..
@jaygrif but for you, you also probably didn't know you carried the virus. So you can't really blame yourself if you did give it to her! Don't beat yourself up!
Ive always been a very sexual person, i know sex is changed forever now...i couldnt even bring myself to go to work or school, i called in and my boss could tell i was crying, shes like talk to me you can tell me anything, people say that but its not often true, i have this english paper due and i cant even see the point, like who cares about school anymore? I apologize if this convo is dragging you down, i just had huge issues before this and now its like im in total darkness
Don't apologize! You're very new to this so its natural to feel like this, trust me we've all been there. But I'll tell you what everyone has told me, yes you're gunna feel like you wanna die and hide forever but it will get better. As you age you have less breakouts, and what I'm on, valacyclvir suppresive therapy helps with viral shedding and makes you have less if not any outbreaks at all. The other girl he gave herpes too is on it as well and has a boyfriend and she sleeps with him all the time without a condom and nothing has happened so far. The drug really does work. Find one or two people you trust and tell them. It did wonders for me! Just try and relax, the first little bit is gunna be tough as hell, but only the strong survive. And I know... He was the third person I ever slept with, so I ddint even have a chance to have a real sex life haha... But for your situation right now, inform her with what just went down and tell her you had no idea you carried it. Tell her you carry the virus that causes herpes, the way you word things can make the situation a little easier! I know for myself I wanna find someone who has it as well so I'll never have to worry again hahha
it gets better, when i first found out, i called out of work but all you need is support, that will help you, trust me.