Well im ok Christmas was good with extended family now i gue

Well im ok Christmas was good with extended family now i guess im learning to live with it i cant wait till it becomes normal to me i still look at everyone else like there healthy and im not no one knows and im keep it that way i wish i could go back in time every day to the very moment i was about to have unprotected sex but hey i cant im stuck with the sickness i know i have to live with it be at peace but its dosnt change the face that this is aomething i do not want to live with this is something im not ok with and its eating me up trying to cope like everything is ok it takes time ill get over it but the only time i can find happiness is when i convince myself i dont have it only to be reminded by the truth i wish we lived in a world where this illness wasnt a fear to society but there are sick minded people out there who take this and thrn it into a curse so were all looked at as less then humans were the sick infected group that no one wants to touch or be atound this **** is horrible i sware and i know its comming out dark but its from a dark place thank god im not suicidal but the way that i look at it i was i didnt care about my life that much now i have the rest of my life to deal with it a part of me believes in reincarnation little bit of me wants to die and start all over but its not that easy i pray every night that i come across a cure in my lifetime i just wanna go back to normal

hugs and support to you. It sounds like right now you are trying to process what this means to you, and figure out what your new normal is going to look like. do you have a support network of people you have told?

Just my mother and father cant trust no one else really cant trust them

Honestly I know how that feels, I don't tell anybody..I am right now even deathly afraid to be on this support group....I think it just makes me scared to even admit it's real....I think I try to forget it though I am awesome with taking my meds and I keep myself in well shape...but I am so anxious and pent up that I feel like Im going to burst...I understand how you feel

I cant believe im beinging in a new year with an old sickness i guess the worst part is i cant get rid of it knowing its going to be there for the rest of my life im still in shock

Dont push yourself to have to feel like its going to be okay right away... Your within your rights to grieve... I felt like a piece of who I was died and then I later came to rebirth a new me... Stronger in some ways and more insecure in others.. it takes loads of time... And time passes whether we want to or not..2016 is here to have support ;)