Firstly let me say I love my family...dearly...they are fantastic in most cases. However, one flew in yesterday and she is causing me serious stress, I can feel it overwhelming me.
She shouts you down if you want to speak, she never listens to you. When it comes to food it's like the Spanish Inquisition...did you eat that? where's that? who had the last one of the these? it's like she feels hard done by all the time. Then went on to insult to my nintendo wii..basically making out that it wasn't up to her standard exercise wise and demanding that me or my mum drive to the gym 10 miles away in the worst road conditions that have hit Ireland in years and drive her home again.
i took her shopping today by the time it ended I had to go to sleep for a few hours...I was just so exhausted, from her criticising my driving to just everything. And there are two more sisters coming home. Although one is incredibly more level headed and not as highly strung.
Thankfullly I have a little room for myself, my santuary which I can run away and hide in and try to breathe deeply in. It's going to be a long Christmas:/
We are waaay too stressed out a family.
Love ye guys
From a very...hoping she can hold it together...Moongal x
Thank you for sharing....ah...loving your family doesn't mean you always 'like' your family. The Holidays put a lot of added stress on all of us. I am so glad that you have your own space to escape to. Take care of yourself and I hope you find some small joy in the Holiday! Jan ♥
Hey.
Thanks Jan, they are good but I am thanking God my therapist halped me to carve out a little hole to call my own at this busy point...I really did need some guidance when it came to it, and yet it makes so much sense.
It's nice just to be able to go into it and take a half an hour out. I think you can be so much a nicer person when you do that...and it's about acknowledging how stressed you feel too, about the situation.
awh M, im sorry xmas is such a stressful time for you. especially during those timey it is important to really look after yourself and take care of your own needs, may that be by retreating to your room and hence quiet or by letting out your frustrations in one way or another (any boxing on the wii??).
just make sure you nurture yourself, mentally as well as physically. and learn during this time that you are able to put your own needs first!!
Thanks Maedi,
I can sense she is very stressed too, but she is very prone to not wanting to hear what is being said to her either. I am trying to keep my mouth shut as best I can and just let sleeping dogs lie...cos I do want to keep the peace.
Like this morning she demanded we all have breakfast together and made us wait for her to settle down to her breakfast before we could have ours. I think she has an idea in her mind of how a family should be, but I am happy just grabbing my cereal and tea and sitting down chatting, not having to wait for someone else. It wasn't like she was cooking for us, she just wanted us to wait for her while her porridge was cooking on the stove...it just made the whole situation tense, I kept my feelings under wraps but I just felt so....grrr this doesn't make sense....about it.
you are just so **** thoughtful and caring!!
with all this going on i really do think u need a good outlet. even just punching a pillow, throwing stones (or snowballs) outside, maybe kicking the snow. try anything that will keep you remotely sane!
stay strong and do rant as much as you can on here! thats what we will all do these holidays!
Hey thanks,
Maedi i really had it bad today...like it was awful...she picked at everything. She has this constant thing about checking on what I eat...and everyone else...it's like we get hounded. "do you eat the rest of that"...and then when I asked was she putting on rice with the curry she was cooking she took my head off...and I couldn't finish it cos it was too hot for me (I can't take spicy food)...i was actually afraid to say it and pretended I was full, which she started tutting at me for, and then I admitted the it was too hot.
She's just in a mood where she went argue with her toes. And she's very patronising towards everything, like oh you shouldn't be eating this, you shouldn't be eating that...I'd go mad living here(you grew up here)...it's pretty insulting really.
I had to take a 4 hour break from her. Thank God I have another sis home this evening, who will kinda break it up a bit, ya know...we get on better and she's much more level headed.
I feel like such a horrible ***** saying all this...it's just not the sis i thought I'd have to worry about at all. But she seems uber stressed out and it's really taking it's toil, not just on me but on the whole family.
hell no, you're defo not a b***. i'd go ballistic being there, i certainly wouldn't have held back, not even on xmas and no matter how stressed she might be!
i mean, what do you think is making her behave this way? you did say she was always kinda like this, but it seems quite extreme and especially considering your difficulties with food. and tbh, i find i quite ignorant for her to make such a spicey meal when i'm sure she knows that you can't stand it! wow, im getting proper angry right now!!!! so just know that i'll try take that from you :-)
what did you do in your break? and will you get some more of them today (apart from when ur sis comes)?
my holidays are actually not very xmassy i guess. it feels kinda weird. my mom's working nights, my dad is out an dabout when he can be, my bro now live separately upstairs, and i don't have my hubby nor doggy with me. so ultimately im just glad when the whole 'you gotta be cheery and joyous'-thing is all over.
at least so far i haven't b/ped nor self harmed and im trying to keep busy even when im alone. we'll see...
really do try to look after yourself, get your breaks and timeouts and speak your mind if necessary!!
Hey Maedi,
Well so far Christmas actually improved a lot when my sisters came home, was like the heat was taken off me and applied somewhere else.
Mam said to her today, I think you are very stressed and she completed scolded her, one part of me wanted to leap in and save mam, but the other was saying leave it, the quicker its over, the better. She just said oh you're completely wrong, maybe you're just not used to me standing up for myself...but shes not standing up for herself, shes just yelling at people...and being defensive over nothing. We're all kind of shocked at the way she is acting to be honest.
She was actually going to start a fight in front of our visiting Grandma lastnight, with a different sister who did nothing. It's crazy what's going. It really is. I do feel so sorry for Mam, but at the same time I know I should bite my tongue hard cos it would upset the house more if something was to escalate.
Maedi I've no idea what's making her behave this way, she was nicer to us last Christmas after she'd just broken up with her boyfriend.
When do you think you'll be able to go home? The weather was awful these past few days...air travel was completely ruined for those trying to travel anywhere for Christmas.
Please tell me if you feel stressed or just wanna chat hun, hate thinking of you feeling lonely.
yeah, weve got a good winter so far :-)
and situations on streets, rails and airports are totally ridiculous! i did originally wanna fly back home for a few days but if the weather keeps up like this in january i won't risk it.
M, im glad you were able to keep out of that whole drama. it seems like a very uncomfortable situation. that's family for you though, isn't it? although everyone has been together a lifetime, they still don't seem to get on or even try to understand each other. sad really!
how did you finish it off in the end? and are you back home now again?
