Today hasn't been a good one. I have been feeling lonely all day, well all week mostly. I went to school and came home. I texted my husband some and we talked about how I was feeling. I then told him I wanted to take a nap, so he called me and said, "I don't want you to do anything stupid". I got angry. I never understand why he says stuff like that--I wanted to just take a nap.
This ended up turning into a fight. A big fight. I have been feeling depressed lately--been thinking about getting back on meds. So, this didn't help my depressed mood any!!
I tried to eat lunch--but I only ended up purging. Once again I spit up blood. Then later tonight I tried to eat dinner--but I purged that too.
Now my jaw hurts, my head hurts, and I just want to go to sleep. Goodnight support friends.
Ashley,
I'm sorry you are struggling so. I wonder if your husband is just scared that your statement that you wanted to sleep meant more to him, in terms of past actions on your part? It's possible.
It sounds like he is not seeing very much proactive movement on your part, and he just doesn't know how to handle it.
Are you getting any help right now? What are your plans about stopping this cycle, because otherwise you will end up back in the hospital, or worse?
I care about you, but I think you are slipping, in terms of the apathy I sense in your words.
What do you think you need? HUGS...Jan ♥
Jan, thanks. I am in therapy and I am about to start going once a week instead of twice a month. I am needing to make an appointment with my doctor but i have to wait for my new insurance card to come in.
I understand that Brandon probably gets nervous because of past actions, but even when I try to reassure him I am ok he just won't listen. But we talked about it yesterday.
I don't know what I really need at this point. I will figure it out though and I will talk to my therapist about this too.
