Well, last night I couldn't wait any more and had him give m

Well, last night I couldn't wait any more and had him give me the full disclosure. It's been a little over a month now and I've been scared of everything, that I'm just reliving what he did with them. In a lot of ways it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. It was a lot more sexual than emotional, which actually does make me feel a little better, they didn't share nearly as much together as I thought they had. But he did admit he didn't care about me or think about my feelings once during the whole thing, which was esp hard to hear, and when he found out the current ow was pregnant she asked him if she should take an "abortion pill" and he said "I don't know, do ever you think is right." And leaned toward no bcz 'abortion is bad'. He later told her yes, but by then she had changed her mind about it, and was waffling. So that was awesome of him. He also sat with that knowledge for 2 days before telling me, one of those days was spent at his parents with me doting on him. We have no idea if she is still pregnant or what. We have no way of knowing without contacting her. It hurts so much to think she might have my baby, the one I was asking him for all summer and he kept telling me we were done having kids. He says he has zero interest in being around it if she does have one, but he adores kids and babies so I don't know if that would actually happen or not. I don't understand how he could tell her "I don't know" to that. I just can't understand it at all. The good thing is he spoke about the current ow with a lot of vitriol to his voice, the bad news is he still sounded like he had a lot of fondness for the first two ows. (They were 7 years ago, but still, one of them there was a 2 year gap between contact.) I'm hoping this will help me not have so much anxiety and questions. We are trying to R, it's going really well so far, and I just want to be able to quiet my mind better. Thank you all for encouraging me to do a full disclosure, I was so scared of it, and what I would discover. You all helped me to have courage and recognize that it was important for healing. I'm not sure I would have done it otherwise, and my imagination was sooo much worse. Thank you sincerely.

2 Hearts

If he got her pregnant, he was not using condoms. Get tested!

1 Heart

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