What do you do when they lie about something so insignificant it's laughable, even when you double check with them about it ? Like, I have a straight up knowledge that he lied, but the subject matter is absolutely meaningless. We profess to be trying, including not lying or keeping secrets. And part of me says let it go cause it's such a small deal. But another part of me says he will lie to me about other things, and this needs to be nipped in the bud. I have no idea how to proceed. What do y'all think?
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I'm realizing more and more that we have much further to go than what I thought.
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@blindsidedmom i have this problem too. I will post you a link that is interesting.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3086/tell-the-truth-0909/
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@blindsidedmom - I have the exact same issue. But I feel like if I pull her up on it and ask for proof that's not being true to myself. I'm not a jealous woman, but if I let it go I'm SURE there will be more lies because there has been already. And this excuses! Omg they are so pathetic! I feel like an idiot for staying. I'm not afraid of being alone either, I'm afraid the grass will be no greener else where ... I'm running out of options and ideas and all we do is fight.
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@Sparrow80 I feel the same way!
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@blindsidedmom I totally hear you. I flat out had text messages that said she cheated. I confronted her about it she says to me. She did not cheat but she did meet the guy only to tell me 2 minutes later that yeah she did have sex with him when I showed her the proof. How are we to believe anything else they say to us when they look us in the face and LIE!!!!
Okay, here's the deal. No joke, it was all about what time he got the kids out of bed and gave them breakfast. Really, that's what it was. But he and I put my brother in charge of the kids last night, and we went out. I asked him point blank how he wanted me to handle situations where I think he's lying about something ridiculously small. His response was that he's trying to be the kind of man that says things, and I believe them. And the only way that can happen is if every single thing he says is honest, and he is open to my questions when they come. He wants to be a Godly man who has the support of his wife. Not someone who is fighting all the time, and who's wife doubts him. So we talked about it. I told him my thoughts, explained my proof, and made sure he understood that I wasn't upset about breakfast, I was upset about the lie. Turns out, he didn't lie. It's really silly to go into, but my "proof" wasn't real. He explained about his morning and how it had gone. Even with my super skepticism at that point, it all made sense. I didn't believe him right away, but I do now. And I'm very impressed with his logic and effort to be open. We've been fighting lately, so I wasn't expecting gentleness in that conversation. He talked about the scripture that says "a soft answer turneth away wrath." This is so not how this conversation would have gone a couple weeks ago. He gets really upset when I think he's lying. So, this is cool.
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in the last few months I tell my wife anything/any thought i have...be it that i am suspicious, frightened, angry...etc....any thing can be a trigger for me...so instead of burying it, and tell her...if I am not near her, i text her about the thought or the trigger