What do you think you have

Ok for those of us that struggle with these issues, do you think that you sh only or do you think you might have munchausen? AND which do you think has more shame linked to it?

I can actually say that when I was younger and cutting myself (deep inside) I wanted to be in the hospital so that people (my family - especially my Mom) would feel bad that I was there (I grew being abused by my Mom). I wanted her to feel guilt - but it was also to deal with my pain too...

But now almost 20 years later I do it NOT because I want to go to the hospital - I do it because I'm just in pain and need to "relieve" the pain somehow...

How does that make sense! We hurt ourselves to feel better..in no universe is that right but yet it is. Wow the crap we do to ourselves!
I don't know if I will ever understand this, but I hope I can.

I hear ya - it makes no sense whatsoever - yet we still do it anyway. I mean - when talking to my therapist about it (and studying about it) - I makes sense in the fact that we want to actually SEE the pain we’re feeling inside… and it’s the only way others will know we’re in pain … yet we don’t want them to know we harm ourselves… you’re right - it makes no sense! :slight_smile:

When people figure out when you are doing this to yourself (and that is a lot sooner than we think it is) they are so disgusted and alarmed. It is just as impossible for me to believe that everyone does not think these thoughts SOME time as it is for people who never do this to themselves to imagine why we do it to ourselves!

Hey I just wanted to thank you for something.... I have never said anything to anyone in my life about this before so thank you for letting me talk to you, I know everyone either suspects or knows what I do but I have never admitted anything to anyone. I am hoping that this new step will help, I am hoping that being able to say to someone yes I did this to myself and this is why I think I did it... Does that make any sense at all? Maybe I am being stupid but I just wanted to let you know I appreciate your ear..and shoulder lol :)

Yes - you DO make sense (and you are NOT being stupid) - and you can talk to me anytime you need to!!!

No one should ever feel disgusted when they find out - they need to see it as "okay - something is wrong and we need to help her" - I don't blame anyone for being alarmed - but they should not be disgusted...

Admitting that there is an issue is the first step - so you did it! :) It's always good to be able to share and talk to other people who understand you and will not judge you.

How often do you sh? Is there something that always sets it off for you?

((HUGS))

Christine

Thank you Christine, your support really makes such a difference for me. As far as how often goes put it this way there is always something "wrong" with me I am either hurt or sick or both. How about you? Do you have a support system? LET ME STOP HERE..If I ask you anything to personal or something you do not feel comfortable talking to me about yet please just tell me, my feelings will not be hurt at all. Does your support system know that you sh..do you guys talk about it openly? I know I am asking a lot of questions but I feel like this new world has opened to me, being able to talk to someone without all the bs to hide things is very free-ing (is that a word) But to be able to talk openly is really opening my eyes and I really want to learn all I can about this in hopes to learn more abput myself so I can start trying to change things and hopefully one day be able to be a support to someone else.
Thank you so much!
(((HUGS)))
btw if you ever want to text me my number is 8016914203

Kirstin - don't worry - you can ask me ANYTHING - we're all being open and honest on here because we CAN... it's our "safe place"... I'm happy that I can help you by just being here! You help too - you know - by sharing your story and letting others know they aren't alone...

To answer some of your questions - THIS - YOU - are my support group! :) I can't talk to ANYONE about it (my husband, friends, family) not because they would judge me (well - actually one of my brothers totally would) - but because they would be alarmed and concerned. Plus like I mentioned before it's harder for me to sh when I worry about my husband seeing the scars or the injuries... Well - I should also say that I DO have my WONDERFUL therapist who is of wonderful support to me... she's known me since I was 17 (and now I'm 34) - that's how long we've been working together - (on and off) - recently on again...

I'm not sure what you mean when you explained how often you sh? You ARE hurting - if you want to talk privately about it send me a message... I'd text you but I canceled my cell phone recently because I'm not working and need to cut back on costs... :(

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I can't remember if you posted it in another post or something? I'm ALWAYS here to listen to you... you can tell me anything and you WON'T BE JUDGED...

In the meantime - check out my new blog :) I hope that you'll find it helpful. I post (pretty much) daily - but I'm also adding helpful links and pages... I'm starting to be on that more and so you're more likely to find me on there :)

http://hopedespitedepression.blogspot.com/

Just know that you WILL get through this - and in time you WILL be supporting others... :)

((HUGS))

Christine