What I have been dealing with my whole life

As usual the abuse starts at home then into your personal life. Then something happens so out of control, that you are just forced to put your foot down and say " now look that is crossing the line too far for me, it's enough and I am totally through with you for good if you do not stop it now!!" You must say this and mean it, if it happens again you must leave. That person will never quite this will only get worse not better, so you are better off without them anyway. Well, it has taken allot for me to learn this leason to say the least, and at times I do slip and it does come back into my life, yet now it seems to be for a different type of reason than before. That sounds strange, but hear me out, my step-Dad growing up was always very verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my brother and sister, but he has changed quite allot since the death of his Mother. Towards his children my half brother and sister anyway, yet to me he is basically the same old guy he always was. Except when my brother and sister are around, then he's right back to Mr. nice guy. He says he dosen't know what we are talking about and he will not change it. This is the way it is going to be. I know he is doing it, because I live at home and help care for him and his Father, you see he is now on oxygen and disabled, retired just like his Dad for the rest of his life. His kids get very envious at times that I get to live here and they are out paying bills and working very hard at there careers, and here I am. Well, let me tell ya they wouldn't last 6 months and I have been here doing this for 3 years now, and it's allot more tough than I could ever bring even myself to admitting too much less anybody else. There bad days are very bad, and you want to talk about verbally abusive and everything else, well they don't lay there hands on me I know they never would, since under all that pain and grief they are civil people and I know this, and they know I know this. That is how we get through it all. You see things have changed allot, I'm no longer that same little girl and they are no longer the hard at work angry young men, they are much older and cannot do the damage they once could and they know it. So, they are forced to settle down now, and for heavens sake just be nicer. Then so am I too, it's really a true story in forgivness, not forgetting mind you just some forgiving. It's healing us all in a way. My Brother and Sister have a hard time seeing all of this since they are not here with us during the very tough times. They don't see the forgivness and compassions in action. So, really were the verbal abuse comes from now that hurts the worse is no longer from parents or grandparents, but from my siblings, not supporting or understanding the situation enough. My Brother tries and his wife too, but my sister seems to be just as hard headed about things as are Dad was she is the most like him in more than one way. Well, there is more, but that is it for now.

You could ask your siblings if they'd like to trade places with you unless you'd prefer the arrangements your currently in, as from what you describe you've put your foot down & let the older folks know how to treat you.....job well done & after all it is family even with the ups & downs. Keep letting it out we're here & listening.

Take care of you.

April