What if inpatient doesn't help?

lying awake and wondering about my future. the future i dont want to have anymore but that my fmaily wants for me: a life.

wondering too, if i had a choice, would i have decided for inpatient? or did i only decide for it because i can't go the other way? the way of giving in and putting an end to it?

so what if inpatient doesn't help? not only because it might not work but maybe because im nt really open to it. what then? what other choices do i have then? right now it seems like 'it works or suicide'.

i know that one therapy is not the end to it all, that it is a continuous effort, but i wonder if this treatment (if i even get it) can at least get me to a point where i WANT to keep going.
im scared...

Dont be scared sweetheart, going will only bring good into your life & will be the beginning of a new way of thinking w/steps & guidelines to try out & work through. What you'll learn will be something to take you through life. You wont know until your try......go for it you'll learn alot.

All my strengths.

April

When really scared and inpatince I find I have to ask for:

Courage to change the things I can (ME)and the wisdom to know the difference.

But first I have to accept the things I cannot change. That is the hard part because it usually come to me through pain and having enough of whatever is happening.

My thoughts are for you

thanks to both of you, april and steve.

yeah, i know it's scary and it's definitely worth trying. i've got nothign to lose, right? i guess i just always think too far ahead, wanting it all NOW. if that was possible none of us would be here...

it really is about being open to learn, and to change or accept. only now i realize how afraid i am of the latter two.

We can only change ourselves & not others so I do agree w/you that is does suck sometimes to accept that fact UGH, but change can be good & exciting, one just doesnt see it at the moment.

For some people inpatient programs work better and for others outpatient. I was involved in an intensive outpatient program that helped me that I really wanted to go through again last time I got out of the hospital. I hope you will be open enough to the program you go to that you get something out of it. Don't expect it to solve everything. It takes a lot of little steps.

yeah, the little but very difficult steps :-) i think that's one reason why we all got here in the first place, cause we all want it right NOW, we want to be skinny NOW, and perfect NOW. but that's not how the world works...

thanks for all your encouragement. i know i gotta be patient (is that why we're called patients? i doubt it) and just see what it brings, but OMG is waiting hard!

Try to live more in the moment. I struggle with that too. Yes, "Patient" - "Patience" is kind of the same thing depending on how you look at it. I also have the "want it now syndrome". Want to be better now, think more clearly now, be more productive now. But I am starting to realize that life just doesn't work that way (and I am sure I am a lot older than you). So get whatever help you can get now so - remember "one step forward - two steps back". That is how recovery goes. As I can hear in your words, you're already on your way ...
Best wishes ... Peacefuldove