What is better

So many of you are working a recovery plan, and truly making important changes towards wellness. Yay!
If you could list the one thing that you have noticed being better, easier, offering your more hope in your life (despite the hard times), what would that be?
For me, it is that I no longer need others' approval to make my own decisions. I don't base my view of myself on what others think. This is only one of many, but a very powerful one for me....
What about YOU??

Thanks....Jan ♥

well I am not far in my recovery plan but there are things that are making me hopeful. For me it allowing myself to be me around new friends! Slowly I am coming out of my shell and I am not hiding :) Its nice to be just yourself

I'm beginning to embrace the saying, "What others think of me is none of my business." :) I'm starting to realize that EVERYone struggles with SOMEthing... And the judgements people make aren't so much about the judge-ees as the judge-rs. ;0) It helps me to remind myself that it's okay to be ME... ♥

Love you, friend!

Jen :)

YES!! It is quite 'OK' to be YOU!!
Thanks Jen.....Jan ♥

I like not worrying what others think of how I look.
I used to feel I had to be in full make-up and wardrobe wherever I went...because you "never knew" if something would come up.
I never left the house without makeup, and this summer and continuing is the most time since I was a young girl that I've gone without wearing it...and to boot I've been complimented on it!

It has helped me see that I am beautiful without all the things the media and others push upon me. I don't need that new $40 t-shirt and I don't have to put on a full "face" to run down to the store...or even go out to dinner!

I am beautiful :)

Paige xoxo

Paige...yes you ARE beautiful....and I haven't even met you!
HUGS...Jan ♥

I have enjoyed starting to be more assertive and outgoing again. I feel like I remember a time as a young teenager that I was both assertive and outgoing always. It has been able to crawl back out now that I'm not constantly worrying about how I look and sound to other people. I still have a long way to go before I am as confident as I want to be around people, but I'm getting there and that feels good.
My husband enjoys that I no longer fish for compliments every minute we are together. The compliments he chooses to give me mean so much more now too!

i have a similar one as u jan. i too always need the 'permission' from others in order to best make the proper decison for me. so yes, i do believe that this is easier and better for me because i use to always people please. ive realized that this hurts me because u can never make everyone happy ~takecare

Thanks for this post Jan. So many things have been better but the one thing that I am really proud of is my newfound ability to be assertive towards my mom and step dad who put me down alot. I have realized that even though they are my parents it does not give them the right to treat me the way they do. I also know that holding onto a relationship with people who love me but with a love that has conditions is not healthy and that I may need to end the relationship one day which is very scary because no matter what I say to them everything is always my fault and I hate when they make me out to be the bad person when all I ever wanted to do was to be truly loved by them. I know I am a good person and if they can't see that then they don't deserve to be in my life. I have had to end relationships like this on my recovery path but having to let go of one with your parents is possibly the hardest thing to do. I know I will be able to one day when Im strong enough to not feel guilty for my decision and when I can finally let go of them I know I will be recovered because my reationship with them is part of whats keeping me sick. Sorry I went on a rant there I guess I had to get that out. Nicole

Nicole,
It's very good and very important that you can see that if others disrespect you, it's not about you, it's about them, and unfortunately, we can't wait to change those around us before we reclaim our lives and stand up for ourselves.
You may actually find, in time, as others see you treating yourself with respect and love, they will truly treat you differently and respect you for that. Who knows?
Thank you for sharing.....HUGS...Jan ♥

hmmmm jan this is something to think about here--yes i do agree ' what others think of me is none of my business' , right jen? hahahaha

so , i do not care what media or people think of me as much. i used to think i needed to look the part all the time or else, now i might feel that way a bit but not as much. so not caring of others approval is so freeing.

i guess also enjoying foods i never would let myself eat now.. experimenting with different tastes... is great..

and i guess respecting my body and caring for my body is woderful and the self love blooming, not quite there--but starting..... to treat myself as i would my little girl...

i guess also finding out who i am is great without the ED and coming to know myself more without the whole image crap , like paige says gets shoved down our throats all the time which is NOT US.

and yes i also went without makeup this summer a bit, and i did like that cuz i felt more free....oooh, i still needed undereye concelear(ha) and i wore a dash of lipstick, but i didnt do the whole kit and kabbodle like i always do. what i would like to work on is to stop dressing so facny when at a casual setting! ugh--my whole wardrobe is dressy---it is ridiculous! that is yet another expectation i have to drop.

i guess appreciateing life and being free of the chains of ED and exploring my dreams is great...

oh, so much more to think on this topic,

love ya jan

maureen

Thanks for the kind words Jan. Nicole

I think one of the most positive things that has happened in my recovery is finding my voice. In the past I would "like" things just because everyone else did even if I really didn't like them and I just didn't want to rock the boat. Now, I'm finding there are things that I do like and care about even if nobody around me does...like Garth Brooks blaring from my car stereo...For example, when somebody, like my kids or my mom, would get in my truck with me I would always make sure their favorite radio station/CD was playing. I recently took a short trip with my mom and put on the kind of music I wanted to listen to...that was a real FIRST for me! I have also made a stand when my mom has parties at our house (I live with my mom). Now, when I know she's having a bunch of her friends over for a rowdy and I mean ROWDY party I book myself a room in a local motel and invite MY friends over to watch girly movies together. In the past I would have just stayed at the house and endured the torture of being around a bunch of people I really don't care to be around just to keep the peace. My mom finds it odd that I have to get away, but OH WELL!!

Great subject Jan!!

Great ideas! Thanks for sharing! HUGS...Jan ♥