What is going to happen

Lost wife after 39 years of marriage. I let go Nov 14, 7 days before her 65 birthday. She was on 4 weeks life support after going to the hospital on Oct 18. She couldnt talk and breath on the way to hospital and was on oxygen right away Next day life support. Did not get a chance to talk to her that first night cause of meds. Thought pneumonia and back home in a few days. Learned that night ,much worse. Drug for UTIs ruined her lungs. No warning from doctor about signs of trouble. Totally devoted to each other 24/7 for years. I cry all the time. What helps? Because of autopsy, still no RIP. Been 3 weeks after funeral.Will once buried help ?

Gosh honey I'm so sorry for your loss am sure she was thinking of you even on life support. Thats a life time of wonderful memories 39yrs. What do you think your wife would be saying to you right now?

Talk w/us here anytime your up to it, sometimes just knowing someones there to lean on can feel slightly better some days.

All my strengths.


On life support, meant many drugs to keep no brain activity at all. Not damaged but no things. They could bring her back brain wise any time slowly. But with the vent and all the other tubes in and on her, one couldnt do that. So when I lent her go, I truly let her die . Her brain was perfect but her lungs totally gone. To weak to operate and replace them. tried for 4 weeks to improve but nothing. After that time in ICU, the other damage from the drugs and tubes was too much . Once during that time things improved some to have hope. So stopped the first let go. Then got a lot worse on oxegen levels. Had to make decision again and did it. Starting to remember the details again.

Bobjan, I am so sorry for your terrible loss. It's heartbreaking to say the least. Have you thought about the possibility of joining a widower's support group?

Bobjam, sorry about your loss. I lost my wife almost 3 years ago, after 43 years of a wonderful marriage. Time has a way of easing the pain, even though you don't think so in the beginning. I began dating about a year ago which helped put things in perspective for me. I will never forget my wife and the times we were together, and no individual can ever replace her, but life can go on. Focus on the positive (children, etc.).

Bobjam,sorry to hear you lost suddenly, i lost my husband 3 years ago to brain anurysm losy my best friend after 25 years of great marriage. was with him in the morning came home from work in the evening found him in the bathroom in a comma i can uderstand your grief.

i myself am tryig to move on and have no firends cause he and i did everything togther.

I am sorry for your loss.

From Mental & Physical Abuse to Grief & Loss