some people here know that I went to court for temporary orders in my divorce case on Wednesday last week and our 15 year old Dyslexic ADHD son talked to the Judge on Thursday against me after being gifted by his father. In court I proved the emotional and verbal abuse along with my ex being an alcoholic.
I told in court of a time we found him drunk past out on the garage floor where afterwards me and the children had to spend the night at a local hotel because we were afraid of his temper. I told how when he came in town for our daughters graduation he was drunk and when I refused to get into the car and let him drive he left me at the airport and he took off with our son in the car and I had to call our daughter to come pick me up at 12am I also told of him making me grovel at his feet on my knees in front of our children to show him how grateful I am to him for all he has done for me. I also told of the name calling he did and what names he called me and how he would claim that since he didn't remember it that it never happened of course he was drunk when he did it to bad I wasn't because I get to remember it all and live with it.
Now most would find that all offensive but what I am finding that people are reacting to the most and find the most offensive is that in court I brought up that he has a collection of Nazi items from books and movies to knives and medals along with photographs he hangs up but that's not all he has hats too but the worst is a full Nazi General uniform complete with the hat boots and suspenders and he admitted to wearing it around the house. What I didn't get into court is that many times I caught him on the pot wearing one of the Nazi hats reading one of those books while he did his business .
I guess that they would find this the most offensive over what he did to me and the kids bothers me. I do not understand that how they look at what he did and over look it to the Nazi uniform like what he did to us as normal and that part the abnormal I want to shake people and yell at them HELLO DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE I WAS ON MY KNEES AT HIS FEET IN FRONT OF OUR CHILDREN!?!?!?!
Tedebear, I am so sorry for how people reacted in court and that they didn't react more to the verbal and emotional abuse. I know that can't be easy for you, but what's important is that you have all of the information out there, and they are now able to assess everything properly. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please let me know how things continue to progress for you.
Teddy, I know all you've been through and yes, it does matter and it's wrong. SO WRONG! I am in such a similar case as are others here. It's so incredibly wrong and damaging and it's horrible how abusers can even be considered a "parent" or even an "adult" with rights... it's lunacy!! Absolutely stark raving insanity.
I just got off the phone with my attorney and she says that they've done all they can to get him or his attorney to send my tax refund check or even ANY of his court ordered child support!!! She says that unfortunately he can refuse to pay me the refund check even though he agreed in our orders in front of a judge, to send it. She says yes, eventually he will be ordered to give it to me but that could be a year or more from now. She is calling his work and my child support worker to get someone to do their jobs. These assholes are literally the scum of the earth. Yours is scum too!!!! It's so exhausting to have the abuse continue. If there truly is a judgment day, they will have alot of explaining to do.
Please let us know how your meetings went today, with the shelter. Have been keeping my fingers crossed and my prayers constant. Being barely able to even crawl today, I'm spending the day in bed and trying to make the best of it. I'm too sad, angry, unsettled to be creative and work on jewelry at this moment but typically I become very motivated and productive after a few hours of intense emotions like these.
I'm in your corner, but you already know that!! I have been literally thinking about you all day wondering how your meetings went today.
Sending more of those darn hugs, Suzee :)
Teddy
what these judges of the court need is to be educated on abuse NOT KIDDING .....or maybe they need to experience the same abuse we did for them to understand because they just don't GET IT.
I can guarantee you that if they experienced what we have they would have a different opinion of what they believe.
The courts are also blind to how these men abuse the system also and lie. I remember reading your first post and thinking the hell you have been through and still going through.
The advocate I have at the shelter near me said that the abuse will continue by withholding support and she was right because he did just that.
We are lucky to live in a country where there are programs that will go after these guys. In time they will get what is coming to them. My ex if he does not pay will take away his car and if he still fails to pay he will be jailed.
he put himself in that mess himself.
But come judgement day GOD will deal with them.
I know things are tough and I know how much it sucks but believe me there will be better days ahead.
LOVE AG♥
Hi AG, I can't wait until things are better. I feel so badly when I can't spend money on the things my children deserve. It's so frustrating that I had to take an almost 6 weeks off from work so that hurt alot. I am back to work though and actually will get back to work any minute now. They WON"T keep beating us... eventually they will have to be responsible for their actions. I just wish it was only me he's hurting.... hurting our children makes it so excruciating.... God help us please.... please help us save our children from such monsters.
Hugs, Suzee
Well Thank you ladies for all your best wishes. I went in they assets my needs they are going to look into Government programs and place me on housing list that could get me into a place in this county and surrounding counties. They also put me on the waiting list for individual therapy they gave me a voucher for their thrift shop for clothes for my son. their advocate is going to research their resources to see what programs I can get on including housing assistance they may be able to pay for the first 60 days rent to get me into a place to give me time to locate work.or get my child support going I am also applying for government financial services called Tanf which pays you for 12 months or a $1000 one time payment I'm going to have to ask my Advocate how to fill it out since my house is going but without it I may not be able to get a new place.
Once the advocate has a list of programs for me she will call me and set another appointment time for me to come in to do whatever paperwork I need to do for them. it's another waiting game but at least this is a start. I have not gotten word from the court yet so I wait for that too I am getting good at waiting it seems that is all I am doing any more.
Tedebear, that's such a great update and wonderful start. It's all about moving in the right direction and that's exactly what you are doing, you are getting a fresh new start for yourself. Please let us know how you are doing and how things continue to progress for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
thanks Puppy I will keep you updated I am really feeling that today the ruling is going to come down I'm scared but ready for anything
I am praying, praying and praying for a positive ruling from the judge. I am here holding your hand through this, you are never alone. Please come here and share or vent anytime that you need to.
Thank you Puppy I know you are and many others as well I am still waiting but I believe it will come today I do not have a reason why other then my own gut says it will I will let everyone know as soon as I know something.