What`s next?

I have been married to my HS sweetheart for the last 9 years. We have always been very responsible people. The parents to two children ages 3 and 7. We were the perfect happy couple. In the last year he has been acting different..He started talking to other women,saying they were just friends, hanging out with younger people. In March he tells me he wants a divorce. He moved out and we worked things out for awhile. He agreed to go to marriage counseling with our pastors. Things were going so well. He moved back in in May. We continued our counseling...Then he joined a biker gang. He started staying out all the time. I found out he was hanging out at strip clubs and I freaked out. He told me that I just couldn`t deal with his lifestyle...and I can`t..so he left again. Two days later I see him with his new girlfriend. He had been cheating on me with her for more than a month. She now lives with him and they are engaged. I filed for the divorce last week. He hardly ever wants to see the kids and never calls them. I am devastated. He is not the man I married..no one in my family has ever been through a divorce. I feel like no one understands what I am going through. I feel like the world keeps on moving but mine has stopped. Where do I go from here?

Welcome to SupportGroups.com, your husband SOUNDS like my husband the only difference is that mine has many personality disorders w/alcohol dependency & a biker gang WANNABE. I can only suggest to focus on your children as they so need you to maintain safe/secure/consistency/responsibility regardless of what HES doing, am sure your aware of that. I have 2 boys 18 & 26 thank goodness their older now & yes it did leave alot of emotional scars for their development in life w/abandonment/insecurities/low self esteem that took alot of years w/my guidance/experience to correct for their well being for this has nothing to do w/the children even though THEY may ponder the thought through out life. Would be wise to let the attorney/mediator (if you have one already) lead you through this phase & the children should not be visiting him while he w/women as that would do more damage later on in life.

I'm so sorry for what you've endured thus far & your not alone we're all here to listen/talk/vent when you feel like it. Its a long process. When you have a lil strength later on look this site up as it can answer alot of questions that arent thought of when ones life is SPINNING, it was exhausting for me but I had to investigate for my own future & empowerment.

http://www.divorceinfo.com/

Write when you feel like it, your in my thoughts, you can message me if you'd like by clicking on my pic.

April

Hi mother of two. I just posted for thefirst time and we both feel so very confused by our husbands not being who they once were. I too am devasted. I can't believe that he wouldn't even try once booted, but he isn't. And your husband has not been respectful to you on any level! And that is a dealbreaker, bc you deserve better. I know i deserve better. I am so sorry for your kids, bc i am sure your heart breaks for them and the relationship that you dreamt they would have with their daddy doesn't look like it will come to fruition. And i guess that is probably where so much of the grief comes from....seeing a dream end. But, you know, i read all these positively positive quotes, and there is one that says, sometimes you have to let go of the life you had planned, in order to have the life you are meant to have. Stay strong for your kids. Lean on girlfriends. One of my girlfriends who has been divorced for several years has been like a mentor, a person i bounce anything off. She is the one that said, now is the time to activate your support system. And i did. I reached out to an old friend who i hadn't spoken to in yrs, but she knows me, knows hubby....i figure the more people who i know love me for me, holding me in their thoughts, can't do anything but help.....tomorrow is a new day!

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