What to do what to do

well something just happened in the household. not exactly sure which support group to put this up so i just joined a bunch of em.

well first off my little sister is 14 and for the past week or so we have not been talking or making eye contact or anything. we were dead to each other. cause from a petty fight a while ago. thats not the issue.

today i got home from work and just decided to take a nap and i was awoken but some bickering. didnt really think much of it since our family always nit picks at each other. then i heard someone come to the house, i peeked out the window and saw a cop car. so i eavesdropped to see what was the deal. apparently my little sister gave some guy our step moms phone number. she likes to meet people online via facebook. not meet in person (i hope) but just talk over the phone and maybe even date. theres been problems before were she did something sort of like this before with an older guy that lives three states away. this is a new guy and no one knows where this guy lives or how old he is. well anyway, he sent a few pictures to our step mom of his "junk." my step mom does not like confrontations and i guess she timidly tried asking julia (my sister) about this and she just did not say a word to her. so my step mom went to my dad. my dad does have a temper and of course freaked out about it. not too bad though. julia still refused to say anything. so my dad called the cops. the cop tried talking to julia about it and i dont know if she said anything but as he left my step mom did mention he was a nice guy. so i thought everything was resolved. no more than five minutes later i hear screaming and crying so loud coming from the basement were my sisters room is. i thought they made up and she was laughing. she does have a loud obnoxious laugh. she comes storming upstairs and running outside with my dad close behind. i had no choice but to come out after her. i hugged her and let her cry on my shoulder and guilded her into my room. this is not how i wanted to fix our relationship. her crying just broke my heart. she didnt say much through her tears but she did say my dad kicked her in the stomach and it hurts. she is known for lying and stretching the truth and overdramatizing things so im still unsure how true that is. but my dad does have a history of child abuse. hes never hit her, but when i was younger i would get whipped with a leather belt and choked and hair pulling ect.... so i wouldnt be real surprised if he did kick her. he was trying to take away her phone and i guess things when out of hand. she did calm down now, sort of just passed out on my bed. i am worried about her. we are so much alike so i know whats going through her mind right now. a few months ago she was in the mental health hospital for depression and suicidal thought. i was also hospitalized for attemped suicide when i was around her age. i dont want her to go through that again but she hardly talks to me as it is. i would like to introduce her to this website but now shes probably going to be banned from the internet. i would let her use my computer but frankly i dont trust her. sounds harsh but she has broked things, stolen things, i know shell go through all my information and maybe hack on to my facebook and email and everything. i just need some feedback on what to do now....

With internet you have to be very careful, there are too many really bad and malicious people. Try to talk to your sister that she should not trust so openly and for her to be cautious. There are so many nice guys in your neighborhood, why go to internet to find someone. Take care of each other. God bless you.

theres not really talking any sense into her. she gets really defensive if i try to talk to her about anything. she just gets mad and does it more. the only real thing i can do for her is just be there for her if she needs me. i just hope she realizes her mistakes soon.

I remember when I was that age and going through hell. At that age you need something and just the computer and your house is not it. You need involvment in clubs like 4h, a group,, something at school, sports. You need hobbies and others to keep you getting mixed into the wrong crowds and choices. She needs a faith and a reason to live. Maybe both of you can do something together, art studio sometype of group. Church, bible studies, feeding homeless.

i would love if she can join a club or something at school. Were both athiests so church is out of the question. The only real hobbie we do together is play video games and we tried working out together but were lazy haha. Shes starting high school this year in a new town. Itll either go great or shell absolutly hate it. Thanks for the replies. My sisters fine right now. Now i just dont know how to talk to my dad at all without him getting mad and defensive. Well now i know where my little sister gets that from...

As an older sister you have a lot of influence on your sister. Know that with your continued support & love-your sister will be able to manage and hopefully thrive in her teen years. I agree if you can encourage her to involved in high school activities (whatever club, sport, or after school activity that interests her or even a community involvement-service project/helping others) -she will have a much more enjoyable experience, feel like she fits in, and be less likely to seek male attention online. I was a messed up teen-and my high school experience was not ideal or normal but I have a 15 yr old little sister-who I am determined that she will not make my mistakes. My lil sister has a very good head on her shoulders & is not out of control=but I know her involvement in school=she is on the soccer team, amnesty international & runs a tutoring program w/local/underprivledged grade school kids-keeps her busy, maintains good grades, made lots of friends & she is not getting into trouble. Teen years are very hard-so the more support your sister can get from you & your fam the bettter.

I personally know how hard it is to talk to a dad who has a bad temper (mine does too). Only advice I can give on that matter is keep convo calm & don't personally attack your dad (if ur talking about ur sister maybe say how we are all handling her now is not working or helping her; instead of saying dad when u hit her your not helping her). I am sure your dad wants to help your sister, but parents do not always know how. I hope things get bettter for you all!

Always remember some key factors when confronting an issue with someone. Dont use the you word alot. You do this and you always do that. Say I feel like this when you do or say that, I am confused and want to understand how we can change things instead of seeing you upset over the circumstances. How can we can hep you? What would you like to see change? When someone feels like your trying to see it from their view point they will be more open to give their opinions.

I read your post, and I can tell that you love your sister and you want to be there for her but you know that she hasn't and doesn't make the best decisions. I really like what star15 said and just ask her how she feels and let her know you love her and your always there. Also maybe go and do something with her that she loves to do.

It seems you got a few good advice and support.

I hope this helps some.