What we want to hear

this will work for anyone...all I eant from my wife is her to tell me..I love you, I will always love you, that im strong enough, smart enough and talented enough to handle anything, and as long as we have eachother every thing will be fine..thats all I want to hear...I think thats all any of us want to hear..and not just hear it but to mean it..life is complicated, and especially diring the holidays everything is stressful..life is becoming harder, faster and there is less trust and certainty..all we want is to know we are loved, supported and there will be someone there for us at the end of the day...so if you are going thru a stressful time in a relationship..take a minute to let them know that everything will be ok..that you love them, that you will always love them, and as long as you have eachother you know you can handle any adversity that comes..I know thats all I want to hear...Merry Christmas everyone.

Here is a really good article I thought might be helpful to you by Amanda Hill, a therapist on Therapyhub.com:

Divorce these days is right around the 50% mark. The rate of divorces among Christian couples is the same. If you take a moment and think of a few divorced couples that you know, you may be able to identify one couple in which everyone "saw it coming". There were obvious problems from the beginning, or many serious issues plaguing the marriage. You might also be able to identify a couple who ended up divorced, but "no one would have guessed". This is the couple who shared similar values, enjoyed one another's company and seemed to have it "together". How can two couples who relate to one another so differently wind up in the same boat?

There must be a shared dynamic, even if the relationships were vastly different from each other. I will propose that it comes down to one main component: Commitment to the marriage. This is different from just "commitment". Commitment alone might keep a spouse present in a marriage, but not willing to change or try to grow. Commitment to the marriage means that each spouse wants what is best for the marriage - their partner AND themselves - rather than just focusing on their own feelings and desires. With a committed focus on marriage itself, many changes can begin to take place and the relationship can evolve.

There are many instances where I have moderated a marriage counseling session with folks who have been married for some time and I hear, "He's changed..." or "She's just different than she used to be". I usually have one response: "Well of course your spouse is not the same person he or she was when you got married. We grow and develop and change with time - either for the better or for the worse. However, I have two questions that might matter more: One - How have YOU changed? And two - How has your spouse NOT changed?" The truth (as you were pointing to here in your post) is that many times, it isn't that the person we marry has done so much changing. It's usually more like WE have begun to "see" the things we previously overlooked in that person, and WE don't know that WE like what WE are seeing anymore. It might be that our spouse has EXACTLY the same personality or weaknesses or hang-ups that they did years ago... but now they're getting old, irritating and to be too much work. So... WHO really changed??
By pointing out the fact that sometimes it isn't your spouse who is causing all the turmoil in your marriage, a couple can begin to see and take responsibility for their OWN role in how marriage relationships evolve. This is critical because in marriage counseling, the WORST thing a couple can do is continue to focus on the other person and what the OTHER person needs to change in order for them to be happy. The only person keeping you from moving toward happiness and contentedness is YOU. The truth hurts, and so does the journey to true happiness and contentedness. But try to remember - it's possible, and it's worth it.


Good article ..

yes def a good article...seems accurate...

no one cares about your crap gloing..this is a scam..dont go there...