It almost sounds so repetative in my head those stupid conversation I have over and over again with myself. Believing that when I'm ready to stop this disgusting cycle I will, but the truth is that I've lost control and need to find a way to gain it back, so here I am...let's do this!!!
Glad you're here, I was you many years ago, endured 20 agonizing years of my own disgusting cycle, had thousands of conversations in my head and with God to HELP ME STOP, oh I feel your pain...don't give up!!! One-on-one therapy, support groups, TALKING about it with people who understand (I never had that, thought surely I was the ONLY one with this horrible repulsive compulsion), and also I have been on prozac for 20 years, really seems to help me, I take two 20mg at night - there's a 'piece' missing from our 'puzzle' (brain chemistry) and if you can find whatever chemical can help replace that it is a real help - also, try natural OTC supplements 5HTP, do this first, I read an excellent book, will try to find it and get the title to you. Gluten-free eating is a big help too, stop the white flour and white sugars. (not to say I don't eat the occasional frozen yogurt, donut...)but do the best you can. Best wishes, you are cared about more than you know :)
Yes! I agree with Nancy! And It is so great that you get help. You are already making a huge stride coming here and realizing that you are not in control- ED is! There are so many ways to get yourself help other than on support groups. Nancy did a great job listing them. Google a few and see if there are any in your area :)
I hope you keep writing and I wish you the best of Luck!
thinking of you
allee
welcome finding---
welcome to support groups--can you tell us about yourself a bit more???
love
maureen
I am a divorced single mother of an incredible little boy. He has a strength I can only dream of having one day. I teach at the local college in a small town where absolutely nothing happens! I feel isolated, more so now with this ED. I do have a wonderful family that I try to see from time to time. I began binging soon after my divorce. The purging was about a year ago. Honestly I'm not sure if it was curiousity or just plain tired of dieting and no weight loss that finally got to me. It almost feels like it crept up on me, but the truth is I've struggled with weight, body image and food my whole life. I never thought I'd get to this point, but here I am...I am looking for a local therapist, but the truth is I'm worried being in a small town...word gets around. I shouldn't care, and I know my life is more important than what people think, but its hard...or maybe just an excuse. I'm trying...I've made it through two meals without purging today. For me this is hard. The moment my stomach has food in it I feel the need to purge. I think this site will help, and I will for sure try the suggestions that have been offered. Thank you for listening I feel your support and it means a lot...gives me strength! Thank you all:)
thanks for sharing finding beauty...
im glad you took this step ---and i hope you do know that you dont have to suffer like this. ED s are --dangerous as i almsot died from one. i hate scaring people, but i feel i need to tell them what CAN happen. and i know it may not be intentional, but i think in EDs we get lost in our addiction, and we forget of our health. we cant see past that moment...it is hard...
i would say to find people you can talk about this to. it is hard to get out of this without support. in our eating disorders we are often left isolated which just spurns the ED more...so i would say try to tell people or talk to like you said a therapist..do you know of any suppport groups? i know it is a small town and you are scared, but really your health and sanity is way more important...
this site is great. it helped a lot of people get better but i cannot replace real help such as inpateint or therapy.
ps ---you will never find true happiness in a mirror. it just doesnt happen. no matter what--until we love ourselves, no dress size will be small enough. it will never be good enough--if we dont love ourselves first.
love
maureen