When do you know it's time to stop fighting to hold the relationship together?
now is the time
Deep down I know it is. We broke up about a month ago. I don't feel the same and he's head over heels in love. It hurts so much to break his heart. He's been amazing the passed few months, but by that point I've already fallen out of love. I love him so so much, but I don't think I want to marry him and spend my life with him. I look at the 2 and a half years as a whole and there were just so many problems. And with each of them I fought so hard to make things right. Time would go on and we would find another speed bump. He has so much baggage and I know that's not my responsibility, I just wish he could be happy. And he said with me he became a better person. Now that I'm gone, he's angry again and emotionless. That kills me. I just wish we could be compatible and be happy together. But I don't feel like we're soul mates.
It hurts so much. The days are getting easier, but going to sleep alone and waking up alone are my biggest challenges. I can’t imagine how he’s feeling :-/
Get out now before you become his baggage. I have wreckage of my past that I cannot get rid of because he's the father of my son. It doesn't get easier. I guess you learn coping skills and figure out ways to be active in the solution but no matter how hard I try to not let the things he says bother me.... My feelings get hurt. It's so hard and painful.
1 Heart
@Mutha-flower my heart goes out to you, I agree with your advice, because I know it would be a lot harder if we lived together or had a child. We were at the point of talking about getting a place and I’m glad this happened before hand. Even though things were going great, I guess deep down I don’t feel like it would have lasted. I know I need to take time to myself and figure out what I want, although I hate being alone. And I hope all this passes in an acceptable amount of time so I can move on to finding someone that can be happy with me being exactly the way I am. I felt like I had to be different for him and it ate away at me to the point where I had to break it off. I really hope things get better for you, i know they will, the time is what hurts us all.
good! let me tell you something... being alone gets easier.. being in any type of abusive relationship only can get worse. UNLESS there is some serious therapy happening.
If he is angry and has problems without you, what does that say about him? If you don't break it off now, think about what he might be like down the road if the two of you can't make it last.
@Jayanna agreed. It would only be more difficult later in life.