When we get betrayed it is not fair or right, but I am going to take heat from this and I am going to say something my co worker told me when she was consoling me, life is not fair and it sucks. We get hit with a curveball that throws a wrench in our life but we choose to live in misery if we allow what happened to us to control us. We all want revenge and what, will that really make us feel better? If your WS gets into a car accident loses a limb will that make us feel better? What makes life fair again is for us not to allow what our WS did control us. We want them to feel the same pain but they are and it is worse. These WS from personal testimony on this support group are going through more issues than we can ever imagine. Everything will balance itself out and they will pay. Just be patient and live your life.
Me; I'm trying to get a promotion at work and I am looking to get back into the service and looking for things to make me better personally and professionally. Hell I just got my performance review and I got the highest rating possible. Why am i stating this? Let's support each other in other ways, I hope all of you get that promotion, work on that project that you didn't get to finish or pick up a new interest. That will put you on top and make your WS feel a lot worse.
Yes your words ring true but we are human and letting it go is very hard
@Kas1966 I’m not disputing letting go is hard.
Very well said.
I like the positive view of working on yourself. I agree and have been focused on that myself. I would, however, put a glass half full spin on your comment. Work on yourself and make yourself better but not so some feels worse. Do it so that you feel good about yourself, so that people are attracted to you, and whether you are staying with your spouse or not, make them attracted to you because you are being a better you.
@jchere I stated that to make your WS regret what they did knowing they lost someone who was actually great. Most of our WS AP are losers.
I may not be in a perfect situation here. However, to those who skrewed me in my past the greatest revenge was to become who I am today. I still don't wish them unwell. I actually wish them well and pray for them. However, i moved on without them. I stoped smoking, got my high school diploma (which they told me I could never achieve), went to college and now I'm currently pursing my degree to become a nurse practictioner(my entire life i was called dumb), I lost over 100lbs and live a healthy life style (fitness lover here). I purchased my first car at 21, my home at 22 and I'm a very successful mother( they told me to get an abortion for the babies sake and told everyone I wouldn't survive a day without them). They hate my guts even more today! I feel sorry for them bc they still live doing drugs, in the hood, miserable, no career, and no self control. Just no willingness to better themselves. Every day I challenge myself to be better then yesterday. Do I struggle? Yup, depression, parinioa, untrustworthy spouse..some days life is a literally hell. However most days, I feel extremely lucky and blessed to achieve whas I set out to do. i don't believe they take that oppertunity and its sad and a shame. You is literally all you have control over and it is most def the best investment you can make. Taking control of Myself has created the strong woman I am today.
This is what I try to remind myself daily. Being kind in a world of hate is the hardest thing a person can but it shows strength, character and emotional intelligence the hater otherwise lacks. If you have these qualities you are bound for great things in life. Meaning choosing love and kindness always wins. The two go hand in hand.
@Usedupheart great achievement
Totally agree. I have been more content and happier with life since I moved past the affair to myself. The problem is becoming that I’m not all that thrilled with the woman I married. I guess not a problem, but something I never thought possible. My journey to find my own happiness is leading me down a path that was unimaginable 6 months ago. Not sure where I will be in 6 months, but I do know I’ll be happier.