Where are all the decent guys?

i'm just curious as to where all the decent guys went. the ones that arent just out for sex.

I think i find someone special and then there is always a catch. They are married or just out for sex and don't want to commit.

I'm just tired of these kind of people, and yet i hate being alone :(

Heatherfeathernj, you are speaking my language. Thank you so much for being here and posting. I really don't want anyone going through what I am going through, but it's so nice to know that I am not alone in these feelings and process. I really don't know who to trust anymore. The moment I think that I've found a guy who really truly cares for me and wants to be with me for me, eventually shows his true colors. That's why I run from the realm of dating constantly. It seems that the moment I am feeling confident about it again, yet another guy lies.

Last year, I thought that I met the man of my dreams. I was head over heels for this guy. Haven't felt this way about a guy in ages. Well, I came to find out that he has 2 kids, which I was fine with, and that he was separated. I can kind of deal with separation depending on the situation. Well, turns out that he was still in the same house and there were no real signs of separation or divorce. 6 months after him, I met another guy who I thought could have been the right one for me, I communicated that I was in a serious place in my life. He took me out several times, when I didn't give into his sexual advances on a date, he became so aggro and rude towards me. Then never called again.

I really don't get it...where are the gentlemen? Where are the good guys? Sadly, I have two good friends who say they would like to be with me and an acquaintance who told me time and time again how special I am to him. I am starting to think that I need to consider one of those routes.

Do you have any friends with single friends or friends of friends? As well, I find that events, such as fundraisers, gallery openings, etc are a great way to meet more quality men. I am a huge believer in meeting people through people and won't take any other route going forward.

That for replying :)

Alot of my friends are married with kids, i have'nt exactly asked if they know anyone in fear of looking desperate. I guess i should ask though.

I find this group comforting and glad i am not alone :)

Hey Heather,
For Ireland most of the "decent guys" like a girl, for girlfriend material to be quite mannerly, fun, caring, casually dressed, not much make up, not sleep around, have a few beers but can't be getting "locked".

You meet most of our red haired bachelors in late night bars or now online dating. Or parties, through mates is another good one.

If you are running into sleezy married types, then run run far far away and as for the sex crazed rabbit types, give them the old heave-ho...but don't fret in a few years, they'll tire of that old garbage and want the really good sex with that one person.

Just always keep your eye out. I got stopped by the cutest cop tonight, although he only took my licence not my phone number I still thought there was some chemistry...sure of course there was a man in uniform:)

Keep looking girlie, he's out there
Love to you
Moongal x

Thank you so much Moongal! I appreciate your kind words :)

I feel like at the moment i'm at a standstill with everything.....i thought i met an awesome guy but he was married and you know how that went.

I'm really devastated and don't go anywhere that much....just have'nt felt like it.

Heather, do you have any single girlfriends that you can hit the "singles scene" with? My married girlfriend said that she would only go out with one other girlfriend and they would go to higher-end hotel bars and restaurant bars. Men say that it's easier to approach 2 women, rather than a group of 3 or more. And I guess the only way to weed out the married men and find out a man's true intentions is with time. One of my closest male friends game me the great advice as waiting on having any sexual relations for quite some time, because you will only truly know a man's intentions with time. Unfortunately there is no other way to know. A man will tell you anything and everything you want to hear in order to sleep with you and time will weed out the players, because players are all about the instant gratification.

Oh hey Heather I am so sorry to hear about you meeting a married guy. That must have been so awful for you. But thank God you are well rid now.

Oh don't give up there are perfectly good ligit guys out there who just want a nice normal girl...like we want a nice normal guy. How long has it been since you've been out.

Ya know it's always good to take time out from dating anyway. But you should take this time to build up yourself esteem, so when you do meet the right guy, he will meet a really happy girl cos you deserve that.

Much love to you
Moongal x

I just posted this in Tips but wanted to share with the two of you directly. Here are some tips that I've gathered from research and friends on where to meet good guys;

(1) Health Clubs and Exercise Groups

(2) Sporting Events and Sports Bars

(3) Church

(4) Dinner parties and house parties

(5) Weddings

(6) Business Conferences and Conventions

(7) Social and Community Organizations

(8) Airports, Bus Stops, Subway

(9) Supermarkets

My parents will be delighted, I'll be back sniffing the talent at Mass :)

Maybe the sports bars would be more my scene because when I work out, i look an absolute mess, red cheekies on me.

thanks so much for the advice :)

Maybe i'm not ready to get out there just yet. My self esteem is pretty shot right now. I would'nt be good company for a date at the moment.

You all made me feel so much better though <3

Oh well just work on yourself for a while so hun. I am, as I suffered a dart in the heart recently enough too.

It will be good for you though. But make sure to enjoy this time, be around your mates, and spoil yourself and be completely selfish with your time and use it all for you.

Keep coming back for support, you're always welcome here
Love to you
Moongal x

Moongal, you made me laugh out loud regarding "sniffing the talent at Mass". When I used to attend Mass regularly, I definitely met a lot of men, it was a good way to meet quality men. And, funny enough, that's the last place where I would ever think to look....I don't relate Mass to meeting a mate. No no!

And, Heather, I totally agree with Moongal in that you should take this time to focus on yourself and finding a good happy place for you. But try not to alienate yourself during this time, keep getting out there and enjoying life. All else will fall into place. And, please keep sharing with us here.

Thanks moongal and puppylvr for your support

i'm sure i'll be a regular here :)

Just thought I'd jump in and say Patty Stanger says divorced guys are the best kept secret....... obv only the ones with awful ex wives I'd say lol but as yet I can't confirm if there is club of them out there or not lol I personally am keeping an eye out will keep you posted :)