As many of us have low self esteem for different reasons, 2 things that my low self esteem stems from, one is that I am bullied and have been bullied in school, I had and still have trouble making friends, I also thing why would anybody love stupid ugly me. And another thing that my low self esteem comes from is that I was in special Ed through out all of my school life. And also I will always have learning disability and difficult learning no matter how old I am, I have static Encephalopathy and that means permanent brain damage that won't get better but it won't get worse, and my brain damage comes from my epilepsy that I had as a child, it damaged my brain cuz they lasted so long. I have been diagnosed with ADD and I was a RH factor baby. A lot of time I feel so dumb cuz I am 24 yrs old and I can't even read a book and understand the book and remember what I just read. I process information slower and whenever I learn something new, I need meaning I need it explained/ and shown to me. Whenever I ask someone to spell something or I am writing a phone number down I need people just give me 3 numbers/ letters at a time. Professionals don't know if I should drive cuz they don't know if I could stop in time when needed. Also I work with kids and sometimes they ask for help on a question there is a lot of times I can't answer there questions and that just makes me feel dumb. Whenever I have to go to a workshop for work, I usually dont understand what they are talking, and I can't every take notes cuz I can't write and listen at the same time and when I take first aide training at the end of it there's a test, and I need the test read to me cuz I don't understand the questions, and that makes me feel very dumb and kinda embarrassed.
Also when I got sexually harassed my self esteem went down too.
Another thing I do is I compare my looks to others a lot and how pretty they are and how ugly I am especially celebrities, and then I get jealous.
But I don't get it cuz if some one were in my same position and I would not think they are dumb but I think I am dumb why is that? I am sure others can relate to this question.
I just needed to share this with people. I would like to hear from others about there low self esteem so I don't feel so lonely.
I am working on myself esteem and trying to think more positively about myself but that is hard to do, I feel like thinking negatively comes so naturally and thinking positively doesn't it's like I really have to think about it. But I think and say negative things cuz it's how I feel. But like I said I am trying my best to work on my self esteem.
Princess
Princess, im very sorry your going through this. I too have very low self esteem. Just a few months ago i would compare myself to every one that walked by. It was terrible. Now i try n focus on the positive things, even if they may seem ridiculous. I try to ignore wen other ppl r making fun of me. Please dont feel dumb. You r not dumb! I promise you.Just remember all the things you like about yourself, something ur better at then someone else. I hope this helps. Try to stay positive! Wishing u the best of luck <3
4evr_dreaming16 thanks for your reply, I don't feel so lonely. Yah every time I walk by someone or see a celebrity on tv I just always start comparing myself to that other person. I am trying my best to stay positive and trying to remember all the things I like about myself and the things I am good at. Thanks for being there and for your help and for your support and thanks for wishing me the best of luck.
Princess......I try to remind myself and friends at times that nobody will love you in a way that you truly deserve until YOU LOVE YOU.
Beauty ( and being cute) is nothing......I was always told I was cute and I hated that more than you know. I wanted to be more than that. Smart, funny, intriguing anything alone those lines. Cute and a ton of fun got old fast. I was told I would have to "marry well" Well since my looks have gone to hell and I am getting too old to be fun @ the parties...NOW WHAT???? God has someone just for you. Love yourself and draw near to him and he will have the perfect love that will bring out the perfect you. Thats my take on it anyway.....
Xoxo, thanks for your reply, and sharing that you have felt the same way. Yah I need to work on loving me cuz right now I don't love myself and I hate myself, one day I will get there and I will love myself. Thanks again!
self harm-
Princess,
Loving you is a big deal and not at all always easy to do. I hate the woman that looks back @ me in the mirror. I just know I tend to make matters worse. I have to tell myself positive praises that I love about me.....even if I sont believe it. Gotta do it and somehow make me believe in me and at least "like" me because in the end you are either going to build yourself up and make some things in life happen and changes for the better or.....we can tear ourselves down. I have become good at that myself and it just plain sucks lol
I agree that loving yourself is a big deal and is hard to do, one day I will love myself though. Yah I also hate the person that looks back at me when I look in the mirror. I try to keep telling positive things but sometimes the negative thoughts take over, and to think positive I really have to think but with negative thoughts I really don't have to think. Yah my therapist said say the good positives things about you even if you don't believe it. Cuz one day you will if you keep telling yourself. Thanks for your support!
I am so proud of you for sharing all of this. The fact that you know and understand where your self esteem issues comes from is SO much more than most people. That in itself shows to me that you are NOT dumb. Yes you may learn things differently and process things differently than I do but that does NOT make you any less of a person or mean that you are dumb, just that you learn in a different way then I do.
I love you for what you share of yourself with us and the support you have shown to me personally since I have joined this site. You are an amazing person and I am glad to have you in my life even it it is just thru here. I hope that one day you have enough self esteem to believe that of yourself.
HI PRINCESS :)
I haven't talked to you in awhile, but I'm so happy to see that you are still here and sharing how you are feeling!!
I'm proud of you for opening up so much and sharing this (though I expected nothing less from you). I think it's awesome that you are able to see where your low self esteem comes from, for so many of us have no idea.
You know we all think so highly of you. You are a VERY sweet and caring girl. And are NOT dumb by any means. But I know how hard that is to actually believe it. Especially when we spend so much of our lives telling ourselves how dumb, ugly, worthless, or whatever we are.
I know for me i really struggled a lot with comparing myself to others. But while I was in treatment I finally came to a place where I was soooo sick and tired of being sad and miserable. And I knew that the more i compared myself to others the more i hated who i was. I think we have to come to a place where we stop caring what others think (soooo much easier said than done!). I had to remind myself constantly of all the friends i had who loved me for me. Because I was kind, funny, caring, and I finally accepted who I was.
You can chose to be miserable, or you can choose to be happy, because the energy, effort, and time expected to achieve and maintain each state is the same.
I am very proud of the progress you have made dear! I love and miss you!!
Maggie
Krisalis, thank you so much for all of your support, something I am trying to work on is my block between my knowing logical part of my brain and then my feeling and thinking because I know logically that I am not dumb and everything you said is true but I still feel dumb even though I know I am not if that makes any sense. I just wish that one day I will feel the things that I know I am. Though it does help to have support and be told and reminded and reassured that I am not dumb. People always tell me that I am not dumb I just learn differently and process things differently and learn slower and process things slower as well just like you said, one day I hope to actually feel that, cuz right now I know it but I just don't feel it. Maybe one day.
Maggie, thank you so much for your support, I for one am so happy to hear from you and that you came back on the site. I do agree that there isn't a lot of people that know where their low self esteem comes from and I also agree that its pretty awesome that I know where it does come from and I kinda think knowing where it comes from helps a little. I know you all think highly of me ;-) your right though its so hard to actually believe it yourself but I am working on believing it and one day I will. I do need to stop comparing myself to others and I am trying to work on it. I am trying to remind my self but I also need reminders from others that care about me. I am also so proud of you as well.
i love you krisalis and Maggie, thank you so much for you support I appreciate it and it mean a lot to me as it always does.