I have recently come to admit the number of times that I was sexually abused by a variety of people. It started when I was young with a man who was living in our house. In high school I would allow boys to touch me even though I did not want them to because I did not want to be rejected. Later men I was involved with did things to me without asking that I did not enjoy. Again I said nothng because I did not want to be rejected. I was yelled at, called incompetent, blamed for their inability to "finish the job:, amd even hit. Truthfully I cannot think of a healthy relationship that I have had with man besides the man who is my best friend. Ours is not a sexual relationship and he is aware of my history.
Excellant job of pulling something positive out of the bad past history & sharing w/others as you keep going forward learning more about yourself & your needs, keep going honey so others will learn from your experiences & know their not alone.
All my strengths, no more hiding, keep talking about it.
April
Keep believing, its wonderful that we both have names that help us cope, I was in a very similar situation growing up. I was sexually abuse my moms boyfriend from when I was 10 to 13 but I didn't know that it was wrong. ( once my mother found out we moved out for one day and then we return for two years) I had the same issue of not being able to say no. Once I was 16 I realized that It was my life and I was going to BE Strong and not left any one push me. Am glad all is well for you as it is for me but I do my best to protect my family( the children that need it) from danger.
Dear Be Strong - thank you for writing back. This is all very difficult for me because I am just beginning to see how connected so many of issues. I seem to always be trying to please someone at any cost. Let's keep in touch!
Thank you for the encourgament April, It really helps!
You all have such strength to come to this site..a lot of pain can be lessened by sharing here-so many people keep past sexual abuse as their"dirty little secret" and have nothignbut shame and eat themself up inside.The self destructive behaviours that result from low self esteem lead to more shame.God Bless all on this site-a previous post says it well-say this to yourself-"I'm not a victim ;I'm a survivor!"
Thank you Donna. All the encouragement helps!
keepbelieving,
Love the username! Very strong of you to admit it. It is so easy to bury, although it never stays truly hidden. I had been sexually abused at a young age. It was hard to get pass the creepy feeling men gave when I was first sexually active, I got through it and I do not think about. I tend to find myself so protective of my daughters, even with their father.
Best of luck to you and I hope things get brighter for you!
Very true Donna!