My ex still has me as a friend on his facebook page and he is just so phony I dont know why it makes me so mad.... he portrays himself as father of the year its such a joke.
we have a special needs son and I keep a log book and lets just say this out of 297 hours of visitation he had available to him he took 180.5 and that was with extra weekday hours I let him have. however out of those 180.5 hours 67 hours was all he spent with our son alone. The remaining 113.5 hours I was with him while he was with our son so either we ran errands together or took our son to lunch. something along those lines. He cant even give the baby a nap.
He has everyone on his facebook snowed they all think he is father of the year. I know it should not matter to me as he is a liar and a cheater but why does he feel the need to portray himself so loving and caring as he is not.
I care for our son everyday I have him every waking and sleeping moment I have him when he cries or laughs during the day. I have him when he has a seizure or a surgery. I take him into the dr and emergency rooms all the while I work full time doing daycare in my home which puts his health at risk but I have no choice I need to pay the bills. I have a college student and a high school student to also support. I always do the right thing by keeping my ex in the loop whenever I take our son to the dr hospitals etc. when all I really want to do is never tell him a damm thing. Its not like he helps me anyway he just puts his 2 cents in.
I do not date although I might like to but who is going to sign up for all of this. I hardly go out but if I do its brief and I always feel bad leaving my little man behind what if he has a seizure or something unexpected happens. I am scared for that everyday my not being there and my son needing me so much. The guilt is over whelming. However the being alone can really get to a person. Meanwhile I know he has at least 2 girlfriends at a time he can go anywhere and do anything all the while feeling secure in the fact that he knows I am a good mom and some days not all days it makes me sooooo mad. when I am burnt out and need some help, a break, a kiss. a hug, or even a loving gesture I have no one.
I cant even go to church as I cannot put my son in daycare his health is to fragile. Its hard for him to be in my daycare but I clean and sanitize like you can not even imagine. Man he just makes me so mad some days when he visits and posts to his facebook and puts his phony self out there for the world to see. I never comment although sometimes I really want to but I know in the long term in case we ever go to court it is in my best interest not too, so here I am telling all of you how I feel as some sort of relief that a different group of people know the truth about my ex.
Let him be, sooner or later the truth will come out. Do not waste you energy on him, take care of yourself first. God bless you for taking care of your little one, and do not worry, God knows who is doing what. Have faith and trust Our Lord. Wishing you all the strength, health and happiness. God bless you always.
Thank you i never thought about god knowing what he is up to just what i am up to I will always do right by my son and I always have faith that god knows even though I fall short of some of my promises that most days I feel I keep many promises I made to him in my hospital bathroom the night I thought my baby would die. he allowed him to live and me to care for him. although I do in my mind know god watches everyone I never thought about him watching my ex and seeing him walk away from his precious son and family.
It seems my ex has continued a great life he has a better job now but i have been thinking that better job is for me and my son so i wont have to worry any longer if he can find the money to pay me child support. I am ok with his new good job also this new job has given him less time to be around my son and i think that is a good thing. my son loves his dad and if his dad asks i do let him see our son on his days off but they are less days off then when he was self employed. I know you are right I just never looked at it that way.
god has always provided me a way and i know he always will. thanks again
you have many blessings.your son seems to be your everything,i understand completely. my sister also has a special need son he has the heart that melts mine, focus your time on your life.. for your ex will have to answer in the long run, as your son grows and becomes a man you my friend will be the one he turns to and he will be there for you,always keep your faith for god is great, i will be praying for you and your son
Hello i am sorry that you and your son are going through this. as a single mom i understand how difficult it can be. My ex hasnt really done much for our child either and he too tries to build himself up like this great dad. Over time i have found that I can never change that and that the only way i can avoid all the anger is by not dealing with it. I honestly think romoving your ex from facebook will help you stay away from all those phony posts. i hope everything works out for you.
thanks everyone for your wonderful words. my son is facing surgery nine we dont have a date yet but soon. this one should be not so bad he has a hernia in his groin. most times this is an outpatient surgery but for him inpatient just to be safe with all other complications he has going on. I am praying everything goes as planned and it will just be one night. Of course Mr. wonderful will be there to once again act like father of the year. I will be holding my tongue of course as that day will be hard enough.
however I have decided after it is over and my son is once again home and safe with me I am going to take my ex to court. I will be asking for sole legal custody, I think my chances are good with my sons health and the fact his father out of 297 hours of visitation he has has available to him to date he has taken only 48 hours of which 36 hours were spent at my house with me present. My ex's visitation changes based on whether of not it is flu season or not flu season. we are currently in not flu season which ends sept 30th. Oct 1st is the first day of flu season. during not flu season per our court order my ex is allowed overnights he has only ever taken one night last august and the next morning my son had his 1st seizure.
So with this new history my ex has made for himself I will also be asking the court to take those overnights out as well as asking all visits be done at my home as this is also what my ex has been doing of his own choice. My ex and i have never been to court as we came to our current court order as an agreement we came up with ourselves. we have now been through 1 and 1/2 flu seasons and once oct 1st gets here 2 not flu seasons so now i have a history of everything he is not doing and so i should get what i am asking for.
this ex is number 2 I have been to court many times with my 1st ex husband so I do know what they look for and I feel I have seen enough there to feel like i should win this. I am not trying to take my sons dad away from my son but only asking it to be in writing and made into an order what is really going on. I will never keep him away for any little time he will give to the baby as the baby does love him and is always happy to see him. I just dont want my ex to take my son the way the current order is as this could jepordize his health since his dad is not around enough to notice any signs or symptoms in changes in my sons health statis. thanks one and all this really does help. scoobydumb
he still at it Mr Phony Bologna I cant wait to go to court and get him off my facebook. I wont need proof anymore and will be free to get him out of my life as much as possible. I am filing on tuesday and if I get granted everything I want I will have no need to be his facebook friend. I just needed to vent even if noone else reads this. I dont understand how he even liked me all the girls i see him talking to are nothing like me. I will never understand why he got married and had a son with me. the last thing he wants is to ever settle down. i am ok with that but our son is special needs and I will not let him get hurt. anyway thats all for now
why would my ex allow me access to his facebook page when I tried to use it against him in court??? Im guessing to try and hurt me with what he posts about our son. He acts like he is dad of the year. Most of the time I am with him for the photos he posts. He and I know the truth about what we do together for our son like birthday parties, and sometime outings. He of course always leaves me out of the photos as I would too. I never post on face book as much as I want to rub stuff in to him, I also dont want him taking my photos and posting them on his page. Well I am happy someday I will find a new man but now is not my time. My ex will never truly be happy as he is a liar and cheater with all women. I am honest to a fault and right now my life is to care for our special needs son. I want to give back to Loma Linda hospital when the time is right and snuggle with other NICU babies who need love. I was able to be there everyday when my son was in the NICU but many families can not. My son is 4 now Yeah a very huge deal but still to young for me to leave to be at the hospital. I have a lot of patience and when my time comes I will be there. Well if nothing else this is a great place to express feelings and not a single soul I know will know things bother me. I never want my sons father to know his postings do bother me sometimes. I hope to get bigger than that someday. I do all the work and although I dont need credit I dont like him taking it from me when he does nothing. have a great day everyone.