Why can't I find anything good in my life? I feel so sick all the time. So tired and nothing matters. I don't even want it to be the holidays at all. My dad passed away last January and I miss him so much. I just don't know what to do anymore. No one seems to understand how I feel. How hard I try to just get up and do simple things.
very sorry for your loss.
depression can be debilitating. this group is a great source of support but you may need more local help. see what grief/depression, groups/counseling are available to you.
@andine I'm seeing a counselor who told me to try an online support group because I'm not ready to go to a in person one yet. Being with people makes me uneasy now.
online is a great start.
We are here for you...
Try writing it out just free form, no worries about it being read, I am type 1 diabetic 30 years, colorectal cancer 2 years ago, lost mom few years back, divorce after 20 years, etc... isolated...but write relentlessly, sometimes angry sometimes sad never worry about the edits, just scream thru words on the pages and it seems to release, satisfy, write letters to self and others past and present, songs, fiction stories about the person I can and strive to be again, and smile, whether you mean it or now, stimulates brain toward the positive, integrate, go to Barnes & Noble and just be there, old saying in the therapy world "fake it til you feel it" be patient and heal, something good will come, always does if you think about it, finally I don't know your religious leanings but I know mine keep me never alone. Happy heart-thoughts your way:)
I completely understand how your feeling. Its been over 7 years since my father passed away from cancer. I still haven't excepted that he is gone. I live one day at a time and have faith that he is always by my side.
I know how you feel. I lost my dad in August. I thought Thanksgiving was hard but the closer it gets to Christmas, the less I want to do. I just feel like staying in bed and hiding from the holidays. Wake me up on January 2nd!
Hi. I have lost my family around the holidays. I do know how you feel. I used to be there. I started to look for positive things in my life.the family members I lost was dad on Dec 31 1964; my mom on Dec 17,1965. I helped to raise my brothers and sisters. Please look at how your life is being positive with changes. Love yourself.
I hear you. My dad passed in March. He was my best friend
My dad was my best friend too! He was my superman <3
To: Chels68 . . . We all have a tendency to feel alone in our sufferings. But personal stories from caring people as on this site remind us that's just not true. We may not be with you "in-person" but we do care. Problems & sorrows are around every corner causing many to become depressed. What I'm about to suggest may not be a "magic bullet," but it worked for me. Very simply. . . FORCE yourself to GO THRU THE MOTIONS of every day living. This may sound crazy, but IT WORKS! The hardest part will be taking the first step. Life will feel very dry & meaningless at first, but one day you'll notice your inspiration & motivation have begun to return. Also, talk to God as you would to anyone else. Tell Him about your grief & troubles. No one cares more about you than He. Ask him for strength. And very importantly, don't succumb to that huge temptation to neglect & fall behind in your regular obligations/responsibilities. This will only make your "mountain" even higher. Force yourself to stay productively busy doing even small activities such as washing dishes, etc. Also, seek help from relevant library resources. This will help ease your alone-feelings, & you'll gain wisdom & knowledge. And, don't give up! You will come out of this . . . so many of us have. The problems that caused my depression 2 yrs ago have only become a tiny bit better & several more have actually been added! But following my own suggestions have brought me victory! Happiness is dependent on circumstances, but inner peace comes thru God's wisdom! You can do it, & I know you want to! I'll be praying for your success♥
@standinginfaith great suggestions…
When my parents both gone. I had to help them pick up the pieces. I look forward to the resurrection. My brother, Keith got leukemia, he came to me and said that I was mother, father, and friend. He also wanted me to forgive him for something that he said as a kid. It was so long ago that didn't remember what it was. I told him that I forgave him years ago. He hugged my neck and we became very close . He passed away in Jan 2001 from the leukemia. Always look forward to the time when we will be reunited with our loved ones in the resurrection. Standing in faith has good suggestions. Remember the good things and good times you had. Grieving is a process we go through. But, I VIEW things differently than most people do. I'm talking to someone who just lost her husband. She cared for him most of their married life. I can talk to her and forget my problems. I like helping others, but I feel am I giving the right advice?
This time of year is tough and especially when you have lost loved ones. I lost my step mom in May and my Dad dies Wednesday night 11th Dec 2013. I was also diagnosed with n=breast cancer in February of this year and had a mastectomy, chemo radiation ad now hormone therapy, my work contract has also not been renewed for next year. For me I try to focus on what I do have and not on what I don't.
I read an amazing article the other by "written" by a quadriplegic, was really a light bulb moment.
I have pasted the link here for you. You can also connect with her on facebook, After I red this article I was standing doing my makeup and I realised that she can't even do that fo herself and how much I really have to be thankful for.
Read this in an article - makes sense.
"I recognise that I will still face a lifetime of mind-wars which will probably leave me weary and feeling defeated, at times.
But, I know that I must continue to do my utmost to make peace with this way of life."
On days when we feel bad, and there will always be those days and that is ok, we must just try and remember that there is always someone who is worse off than ourselves.
Hope this helps
@heididp Hi, I have a friend who had gone thru breast cancer. She is doing really good. That was 10 yes ago for her. She gets yearly check ups. Thank you about that article. Also good advice.