Why Can't They Understand?

My emotions are all over
My heart is afraid.
I can't help my physical limitations
It a price my body has paid.

Some days I feel great.
Others I'm worn out.
Those are the days
When at me they will shout.

I do what I can
Sometimes it's not enough
Then a verbal assault
My skin's not that tough

Out of frustration
My tears begin to fall
"Stop the crocodile tears!"
I feel so **** small

I feel the darkness open
I fall into the pit
Do they not understand
I didn't ask for this ****!

My mind isn't always clear
I think I have BPD
Oh how I just wish
They would understand me.

Beautiful,

The truth is that the people in our lives often can't understand what we're going through... That doesn't mean that what you're feeling isn't real and important. ♥ I hope you'll continue to share here. You have found a place where people really DO understand. :)

Much love to you!

Jen

Hey guys im new to the site. I been battling anger issues since i was a pre teen. im tryin to get tips, ways, and support to deal wit it. WHY CANT THEY UNDERSTAND i really enojoyed the poem. When i read it i broke down crying. I am married and my husband dont understand what i am going through. I always tell him he will never understand cause he is not in my shoes and dont know what i am battling and up against. At times i try to control myself and emotions but somehow always fall short. He never understands what i go through and how i feel inside. Hopefully all you guys can help me in some way.

Beautiful Dizzaster again that was a beautiful poem

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

that was lovely beautiful it was...

really... i love your honesty...

i do...

love
maureen

Thanks guys. It's very frustrating at times when the people you love the most can be the least understanding.

I communicate best with my boyfriend through writing.

My new objective is to journal/research what I am going through. Why I do what I do, when it happens, what my triggers are, how one thing contributes to something else which causes me to behave a certain way.

Almost like a clinical self-study. Then maybe he can understand and when I finally get insurance I can present it to my therapist (once I get one) because he/she cannot study me 24/7.

I think a self-study is a good way to delve into what makes us tick and gain a better understanding of ourselves.

IDK - maybe I'm off my nutt?

BD

sounds like a sane plan to me and who knows what u might discover along the way

poem was awesome but trite but true its those u love who have the power to inflict the worst wounds

keep fighting girl i know u will get there

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)

Thanks domestic! I also posted another part of my plan here:

i think thats good Beautiful to do. Honestly i dont think i could do it. I really wish i could understand whats all of my triggers. Im feeling real angry right now but im trying to keep it under control. My husband is still mad at me and refuses to show me any type of affection because of our last fall out.Mind you im a very affectionate and emotional person. I said some hurtful things but when im in my rage i dont care what i be saying and he cant get over it. He thinks its so easy to keep my anger under control. The more he withdraws from me emotionally and doesnt show me he understands what im going through the more i am getting angry.i pray i dont lash out. i guess i should start writing my feelings out again when he says something that hurts my feelings instead of getting into a verbal match with him or hitting him.

New Me,

I have been on this road of being and feeling so lost, unworthy, angry, and helpless for so many looooong years now.

My life story has so many ups and downs it would make the most seasoned fisherman sea-sick.

I'm in my late 30's now and have come to a point in my life that I realize change is necessary for me to be happy, starting with myself.

I will let you in on a little secret. I was in an abusive marriage. I got so used to hitting him back when we would fight that it became a part of who I was.

My boyfriend now, has never raised a hand to me. I made the mistake of hitting him on two seperate occasions out of anger. Both times I was expecting at least a smack in return. It didn't happen.

The 2nd and last time I hit him he looked at me and said, "I'm not your ex. I won't hit you back. If you ever hit me again you can pack your bags because we are through."

That was my wake up call.

I realized at that moment I had a decent man in my life for a change yet I was abusing him the same way my husband had abused me.

I haven't done it since and no longer get to such a point with my anger.

It took me almost a year, but I constantly had to keep a concious vigil of my reactions to becoming angry.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I literally had to talk myself down before becoming enraged.

Sometimes I had to go to my room and talk to myself out loud. Sometimes a quick shower did the trick. A drive, a walk, drinking a glass of water, etc.

What I am saying is that it took consistent and very concious effort to control myself. Now, I don't even raise my voice let alone start swinging.

You can do it, you just have to do it and work at it all the time until it becomes second nature.